A Thousand Pieces
by Tiarocks55555
Summary: Dimitri left to guard Tasha, leaving Rose broken and alone. She blames strigoi and travels to Russia, revenge driving her. She has to pick up the pieces and move on, but what if it all goes wrong with a single death?
1. Ghosts Of The Past

The annoying ring of my stupid " emergency " phone woke me from what must have been the best dream I had had since " he" left. I sighed and answered on the third ring.

" Hathaway " I snapped, annoyed and tired, the worst time for someone to talk to me. I swear if this wasn't about Lissa or Christian there was going to be bloodshed. The caller seemed to sense this and immediately started explaining the situation.

" Hey Rose, it's Eddie. There has been another attack, no gaurdian casualties but one moroi dead." Another attack? My mind reeled.

" how many strigoi involved? Where was it, how long ago and who was involved?" I was in serious gaurdian mode. Lissa may be in court with about 100 gaurdians on the scene but that didn't mean she was out of danger. She is weak as it is, the baby only a couple of weeks away from coming screaming into this world, also, another life in my hands.

" it was another mass attack, estimates around twenty five strigoi. It was in the country, not too far away. I don't know how to say this Rose, I really don't. It was Tasha Ozera. She is dead and Gaurdian Belikov will be arriving in court to join ranks. He is being reassigned to the new princess when she is born." my entire world imploded right there. Dimitri. The night in the cabin intruded in my thinking space before I shut it down. He left me for Tasha, he didn't care anymore, so neither did I.

" thanks Eddie. Meet you in the gym in an hour, send the Phoenix group in to the scene. See what they can find. I need to go tell the Queen and her idiot husband. He will need to know his Aunt is dead. Also, ring Adrian, tell him that Rose says " buria". I needed Adrian, the only one who knew, the only one that knew what I needed. I got out of bed and zombie walked to the shower, turning it on full blast and peeling my sweats and tank top off. Stupid dimitri, stupid me. He wouldn't even matter to me anymore. I had to forget about him, he had just used me and thrown me aside like I was a boring toy, just like Lissa's first daughter, Christine did when she didn't want something anymore. Christine was 6 now, so lived at the academy. The hot water pouring down my muscles relaxed me and I felt a little more awake. Only just though. I winced as the water irritated my newest molijna marks. Another three strigoi down in this ever waging war.

I sighed again and turned the water off, my hair still streaming water down my legs. I suppose I should get it cut soon, it swung just below my waist now. drying off and chucking on my uniform I grimaced in the mirror. Tailored black pants, White blouse tucked in and well fitted black jacket. Boring. Opening the first two buttons on the blouse and tying my hair up into a half bun ponytail, I was ready to go. Chucking my training clothes into my gym bag and yanking my boots on, grabbing my cell and ear piece was all daily routine, distracting me from thoughts of dimitri. As far as I was concerned, my feelings for him were non- existant. It was sunset, earlier than usual, but I quickly made my way to the royal lodgings. lissa and Christian would be up soon, meaning my job of telling them about Tasha would be over soon. Then I could go take my frustrations out on who ever was game enough to take me in training. The slightest rustle sent me whirling into a fighting stance and Adrian chuckled as I recognized him and relaxed. I hadn't honed my hearing for nothing.

"little dhampir, you wanted to see me." his tone was light but anger and worry filled his expression. He knew everything. Falling into step next to me he threw his arm around my shoulder and pulled me into his side. It wasn't romantic, just comforting. Pulling out a chocolate glazed donout and handing it to me, he sat us down and looked at me fondly. "what's happened Rose?" that was all it took to release the torrent of emotions I had been fighting.

" Tasha is dead, Dimitri is coming back to gaurd the newest edition to the Dragomir line. With me. I don't think I can handle this, Adrian, not after what he did, not after what has happened." it was true, I hadn't been in a relationship since he had left, I had taken my anger toward him and turned it against strigoi, I was tougher now, but Dimitri, he was the only one who could pull apart my defenses. When he had left to be Tasha's gaurdian, straight after we raided the caves, I had gone through at least four different mentors and I had decided then and there, he was nothing anymore. Adrian pulled me into a hug and kissed the top of my head. I let myself be held, no matter how bad it seemed, Adrian could make it better. Lissa had kinda taken rebuilding her family to heart when we graduated. Even if Christine wasn't planned and was actually concieved a little while after Dimitri left, having kids was what Lissa wanted. She was 23 now, just like me. But she was queen. After Queen bitch was murdered everyone wanted Lissa to take the throne. Between being queen and her nightime antics with Christian, she didn't really have time for me anymore. Adrian had become my bestfriend and he liked that. He still wanted to be much much closer to me than that, he even joked about us helping the dhampir race and having our own little one, but I didn't want that anymore. I was a gaurdian for Lissa, even if she wasn't the same Lissa. I stood up, wiping my eyes and straightening my jacket. I slipped the gaurdian mask into place and Adrian nodded in approval. I left him in the grove and continued into the main building, head held high. The gaurdians on duty bowed their heads in respect and I passed through them without a word. I was the best gaurdian you could get nowadays.

My three new marks joined a whole collection. I had 4 little stars, each star basically meant I had been in a battle and killed more than could be counted. Next to those along with my first 2 marks, all those years ago in Spokane, I had an additional 14 kills. My promise mark wound around them and my unique sun tattoo glimmered in its loop. It was gold and represented the time I spent in Russia, an unpromised dhampir and innumerable kills. I was totally bad-ass. All in all, four battles, 17 one-on-one kills and one wild rampage in Russia. Why did I go to Russia? I honestly don't know anymore, but I met my father and Dimitri's family. Doesn't fate have a wonderfull sense of humour. I knocked on Lissa's door and waited. Her light footsteps were quick in coming and I was relieved that I hadn't woken her. She peered round the door, her blonde hair immaculate and her silk gown screaming money. I let my barriers down so I could hear her thoughts again, she was happy to see me, so I smiled. I bowed respectfully anyway.

"Silly Rose! You know you don't have to bow to me!" she laughed and threw her arms around me. I hugged her back and smiled at Christian who decided to grace me with his prescence. I let go of her and walked into the room. They sensed the grave air andd looked at me with worried expressions.

"I'm sorry Liss, Christian. But Tasha was killed yesterday by another pack of strigoi. Gaurdian Belikov survived and will be coming here where he will join my team for your protection." The gaurdian mask and monotone voice alerted Lissa to my near depression but Christian's face crumpled. Lissa pulled him into her embrace and nodded at me, tears in her eyes, her angelic compassion shining out, enhancing her already exquisite features. I left them and went to the training grounds to meet Eddie and the others. The gym was fuller than usual but I ignored them all and went to get changed. My bike shorts were like a second skin, perfect for training and my singlet stopped just above my belly button, showing off my figure and belly button piercing. Even if I was a gaurdian to the queen and her family, as well as 23 didn't mean I couldn't look good doing it. My enviable curves balanced out my toned muscles I had worked so hard for, the strap around my upper thigh that held my stake not only made me look dangerous, it was sexy. I sauntered back into the gym and began warming up, smiling at the newbies expressions, espesiallly the guys. Their eyes widened and I bet their minds temporarily short – circuted. I only looked slightly different than I did when I was still in the academy. I was around 5"7' now, and as I said before my hips and chest were the perfect curves. My hair was much longer, wavy and like silk, dark, almost black brown. My face had no baby fat left and my eyes, a rich brown, gleamed out above my high cheekbones.I finished my stretches and tied my hair up into a high ponytail. Eddie grinned at me from the side lines. I hadn't seen him for a couple of months as he had been sent on a hunting party to New York. I hugged him, my anger disappearing momentarily, letting my mind forget for a moment. We bumped fists and surveyed the crowd who came to practice.

"Looking good Hathaway! I bet those strigoi thought you were an angel!" one of my team members, Gaurdian Creilo, shouted out to me. I smiled at him and he grinned back, dimples and all. He was cute and fun to flirt with but I was still pissed off.

"More like an angel of death" someone else muttered. My eyes flashed dangerously and I heard an intake of breath. I looked lethal. Eddie chuckled and moved off the mats. I got into position, thinking about all the anger I had kept locked inside. The door opened and someone elso walked in, but they were obscured by the crowd.

"Ok, who is man enough to face Gaurdian Hathaway? Anyone not broken a bone and wants to have the experience? Trust me, she's the next best thing to a strigoi if you want to see how you will go against one," Eddie called out to the crowd like he was selling a prized race-horse. It was true. I was fast, strong and had enhanced senses, just like a strigoi. No-one wanted to face me until one of the newer gaurdians stepped forward.

"Our first foolish victom!" The crowd laughed and his hands shook a little as he whipped his shirt off, facing me and sqauring his shoulders. Poor guy. I let all my anger rush into my mind and he saw the change instantly. Naively, he made the first move. He went for the common swing towards the stomach. It wouldn't hurt strigoi but would hopefully make them stumble. Not me. I dodged and his momentum carried him around me. I grabbed his shoulder and placed a hand on his throat, holding him in place.

"Dead". The crowd applauded and he stumbled back towrards them all. They shook their heads and laughed at him. They all needed to improve, he wasn't even the worst out there. If they wanted to defend anyone, it would require vast improvements and it was going to have to start now. I frowned and they all went silent. One of Dimitri's lessons came back to me.

"Alright, out onto the track, 20 laps. Now." their looks of horror mirrored my own face all those years ago. Someone chuckled. Outrage was clear while some showed defeated un-enthusiasim. No-one moved a muscle until one of the bigger guys stepped forward, staring me directly in the eyes. Challenging me. I put my hands on my hips and let the full force of my death galre hit him. The crowd shrank back and he looked like he really regretted stepping forwards. He spoke anyway, putting as much arrogance into his voice as possible,

"Why are we runing? What's the point?" it reminded me of me again. I almost smiled but my anger kept me going. I changed Dimitri's answer and stepped closer, staring him right in the eyes, making my voice icy. "Say you're in the mall with your moroi and you have been out-numbered by six strigoi. You lost your stake but somehow managed to keep your body between the strigoi and your charge. What do you do?" doubt crossed his face and he analyzed the situation, trying to come up with a solution or a smart comeback. None came to him, as I already knew. " you grab your moroi and you run. My first mentor was one of the best, he had me running 12 laps twice a day, everyday after I came back from being AWOL for two years. Two years where all I did was vege out in a hish school campus. Yet the running has saved me many times over. You don't want to run? I can give you the easier task of teaching academy students instead." my threat lingered and they all turned, grumbling to the track. I followed and took the lead to set the pace.

"If anyone is more than a single minute slower than me, they will be relieving the admin team on nightshifts for a week." I started running and boy, did I run. I sprinted, streaking ahead of the others as they struggled to keep up. On we went, my anger and frustration, a long with some darkness I absorbed from Lissa, spurred me on. At the end of the 20th lap I stopped, watching them breathlessly stumble over the line. I smiled in spite of myself.

"ok, I want you six to go do wieghts with Guardian Petrov, she'll tell you how many to do. I you are on the nightstalkers unit, go practice with the WES system. You 4 were last, you can take your sorry arses to admin and figure out your shifts AROUND normal guarding duties. Everyone else, you will be practicing combat with me." the last nine loked shocked, Eddie was one of them. I always trained alone but today, I needed a vent and they were lacking in skills. We all walked back to the gym, the group who had to face me nervous and silent. Eddie chuckeled again and elbowed my side.

"Want me to tell Adrian to come over so he can start healing them when you're done training?" I smiled slightly and shook my head, if I was going to play strigoi, they were going to get hurt. I beckoned them forwards and waited to see who was going to go first. No-one stepped forward.

"Fine. All of you, attack me at once. Think fast, I'm a strigoi now." they smiled at eacho ther before launching themselves at me in quick succesion. I simply stepped to the side and two went sailing past, that's when I started to really move. Kicking one in the side, he fell into another, bringing them both down. One grabbed a hold of my shoulder from behind but I struck out, loosening his grip and landed a punch on his nose, hearing it crunch. He howled, though if I were really a strigoi, the blow would have smached his skull in,, he was proclaimed dead which left me with eight. One brandished a fake stake and ran forwards. I whirled around him, sending it flying and 'snapping' his neck while using him as a shield against the others. He left the mats and I threw a secind guy after him. Fienting to one side, while striking out with my foot, I hit the only other girl squarely in the stomach. She doubled over, admiting defeat. Straightening up, I faced the remaining five guardians. It wasn't a battle anymore. No-one I faced posed a threat anymore. I swung into a crouch and looked for weaknesses, target spots. One of the guys favoured his right side, coming at him from the left would mean slow defense and slow attack reflexes. I went for him fast, un-predictability was essential and exactly my style. I knocked him flat on his back, lowering my head to his ear."Dead." I got up again and took the elment of suprise, knocking another over and "breaking" his neck too. That left three. I wrenched ones leg while I was still close to the floor and made him cpllaspe, passing my face over his thraot basically ending his life. Strigoi were violent, so was I. The other two snapped out of it, forcing themselves into action and leaping forwards. On top of me trying to get a trike to my heart. I elbowed him in the face and dispatched the other my foot rendering him unconcious. I swept the feet out from under the last guy, remembering the hours Dimitri spent trying to make me get the move right. I sat on top of him and glared at the others I had defeated.

"You need to improve. Maybe with a real strigoi you would sense the gravity of the situation and fight to a higher standard" they looked sufficiently shamed so I stood and started on the dummies. Round-house kicks were my speciality when it came down to a hand to hand fight. But of course, it's all the thuings Dimitri taught me that I excelled at. No-one else quite had the same moves as him. I missed the challenge of fighting him. A familiar after-shave made me immediately stop. I smiled and launched myself at the person who now stood behind me. His quick dhampir reflexes caught me in a hug and he swung me around in a circle before setting me down. I took in the vivid green eyes and tanned complexion, the long chocolate brown hair and warm smile. Something that I had missed. I smiled happily for the first time in weeks.

"Lucian! I have missed you so much! No-one here can beat me anymore. It's been pretty hectic with all the attacks as well." He met me on my wild rampage in Russia, when Dimitri first left me. I remember it clearly, all the rage gone, leaving a bitter taste in my mouth.

Flash-Back:

The cold air swirled my hair around my face, the dark night hiding me from the weaker human eyes. The strigoi I had just staked lay hidden in the shadows and I searched for the other. There had been two stalking the busy city of Noverbrisk.. The strigoi had to be destroyed. They were why Dimitri left me, it was them that made it so all dhampirs had to give up their lives for moroi. I wanted them to suffer like I had. This my ninth kill today but it wasn't enough. Dimitri didn't love me anymore, he loved Tasha. Her name was like poison in my mind. Anguish gripped me again and I sank down, letting my tears betray my guardian mask.. This pain was all I had left, all I had to remind me of the life I left behind, a world where I wasn't wanted for anything but my rage or my body. Lissa only wanted me around so I could keep her happy, taking the darkness that consumed her. Dimitri only wanted me as a play thing. No-one needed me at all.

"Um, excuse me? Do you need a hand?" A warm voice. English with a perfect blend of Russian laced into it. I shot up, gripping my stake tighter and almost gasped. A dhampir man stood in front of me. He had long chocolate brown hair and green eyes. He looked so similar to Dimitri... My love was gone, he was never coming back. My heart constricted but I pushed it aside, taking a more defensive pose. He held his hands up and stepped back. He was taller than Dimitri, with higher cheekbones and a sturdier frame, but the similarities still pained me. I remembered Dimitri's words. "It was a mistake. It meant nothing". It meant nothing to him, but it meant everything to me.

"Who are you and what to you want?" I tried to snarl but my throat was hoarse from crying and lack of use. I was tired, so tired. But it didn't matter, I wanted my revenge. He lowered his hands and took a step forward again, cautioning me with his eyes. He smiled at me and held out his hand to shake.

"My name is Lucian. I want to help you, are you hurt?" He seemed truly anxious. Was I hurt? Yes. But physically , nothing was wrong. I shook his hand, it was warm and huge, making mine seem that much smaller. I smiled miserably, that is until a roll of nausea hit me. I pulled Lucian forward with the hand I still held, placing him behind me, watching the second strigoi saunter out from the shadows. My hand tightened round my stake and I leapt towards him. It was Nathan, the blond strigoi I had fought at the academy battle. He had gotten away, wanting to go after Lissa. He smiled as he recognized me and started to move, stealthily, looking for the right moment to strike out. I leapt at him, dodging a swipe to my throat but never letting him closer to Lucian. It was close, intense and a thrilling fight but I managed to find an opening, plunging my stake into his heart, just at the right spot. I chucked his body with the other, waiting for the dizziness to pass. It didn't and I tried to catch a hold of something before the darkness of unconciousness overtook me. I faintly felt warm, strong arms untili felt nothing.

End of Flashback

He studied my closely for a moment, worry etched into his features. He looked so much like Dimitri, but it was totally different person. Plus I doubt he would leave me. My downwards spiral into unhappiness made him even more anxious and he pulled me into him, wrapping his arms around me. I felt so little and secure.

"Oh Roza. Who did this to you? Huh? Oh! Shhhh.. honey, don't cry!" The traitor tears were back. Lucian stroked my hair, murmering in russian. I didn't understand any of it but it made me feel better regardless. Maybe I could tell him what happened back at the academy. Maybe. I pulled back, looking at his shoes, saving myself the embarrassment of looking at his face with tears in my eyes.

"Roza.. Look at me. What's wrong? You can tell me. And don't bother lying, you know I see right through it all. I know something pains you, I knew it ever since the first day I found you in Russia" I shook my head and stepped out of his embrace. I would tell him later, not yet.

"Speaking of Russia... how is everybody? Oleona, Viktoria and Karo? Has Sonya had the baby yet? Yeva as scary as ever? Man, I miss them all so much. Did you give them their present?" it was a poor attempt at my usual hathaway bravado but it seemed to work. He smiled again and laughed at my fake eagerness.

"Well, Viktoria stopped hating you after the party issue. Oleona wants you to come back, she really misses you. The baby is a little boy called Vladmir. Paul lost his first tooth and Yeva, well, she's still Yeva". He chuckled at my expression again. "They love the album and really appreciate the photos. They also gave me a message to gi-" he was cut short by me whirling around and glaring at someone behind me. Dimitri stood there, a look of utmost horror upon his face. His fists clenched and unclenched. Showing the control he was rapidly losing. "Roza...? Who is.. he?" Lucian was warring between stepping back or in between me and Dimitri. My expression was unreadable, Dimitri's was fury, mingled with regret. But mostly furious. When Lucian spoke, Dimitri's expression went flat, his eyes black and dangerous.

"Roza? Roza! How dare you call her that. Why were you even near my family?" Dimitri's voice, one I hadn't heard for so long sent longing through me. But then my anger won out. I stepped forward, putting my body between Lucian and Dimitri. He looked down at me, his expression softening, that is until Lucians hands appeard on my shoulders.

"Guardian Belikov, I know you must be upset after Lady Ozera's death, I would rather we saved this coversation for another, more appropriate time. As you can see, Guardian Seivre and I have matters to discuss. " My voice was icy, cold and harsh, striking out like a whip lash. Dimitri flinched but returned his guardian mask.

"Of course Guardian Hathaway. Would you mind stepping outside with me for a moment. I need to discuss something very important with you. Privately." His tone was flat, monotone, desperately gripping onto the shred of control he had left. I didn't want this now. My temper hadn't imprpved that much and I felt it flaring to life. I couldn't take it anymore. And that's when the dark spirit appeared from Lissa. I absorbed it from Lissa at exactly the wrong moment. Dimitri recognized it immediately and pulled me out of Lucians grip. Staring me in the eyes, I was miserable all over again, looking at the most gorgeous guy in the planet, one that broke my heart, shattering my sense of who I was. Nothing was right, I hated this, my stupid life. Everyine I had wever cared about hated me now. No, this wasnt me, I needed to gain control. It was like a like switch had been turned off. Just my anger returned.

"Actually Dimitri Belikov. I DO mind. You see, I am a busy person, picking up the pieces of my life that YOU walked out of. So, I 'm sorry if you want me to stop my life for you again, but I can;t do that. I'm not like you you, I'm not going to ditvh my enitre family just so I can go off and wallow in my misery JUST because YOU broke my heart. Do you have any idea how much they miss you? How they hung onto every word I said to them about you? It's selfish." I had ended up backing him into the wall while he stared at me, shame and guilt making him look down, shoulders slumped. He mumbled something in russian again, obviously forgeting Lucian was there and would understand. Something clicked in Lucians head and fury replaced his confusion.

"You! You're the reason she went on that suicide mission to Russia! You're why she has been miserable all these years! Do you have any idea how long everyone had to work to get her to trust them? You have ruind her trust in everything. The weeks she cried herself to sleep at night, the months she refused to eat! And it was all because of you!" They were standing a foot apart, Lucian towering above Dimitri. A lot of guardians had gathered now, watching the tense stand-off. My heart was in my throat, my eyes pricking. No. This couldn't happen.


	2. Here, With You

Rose POV:

I grabbed Lucians hand and tugged until he looked at me. As his eyes met mine I saw something I had never seenm before, at least, not on Lucian. Love, adoration, the burning need to protect. Me. I used it, pleading with my eyes, feeling small and vulnerable. The crowd was waiting for the outcome of this. Legendary Guardian Hathaway being apparently fought over by two russian gods.

"Sorry Belikov, I'm going to have to rearrange your face another time. We NEED to talk Roza." Dimitri lost it, leaping fforwards with lethal grace, every single muscle tensed, ready to kill. Lucian shoved me out the way, just as Dimitri smashed into him with the force of a small elephant. I leapt into action, finding myself crouching over Lucian as he lay on the floor, dazed. My stake raised in front of me, point near my elbow. I glared at Dimitri, curling my top lip in distaste.

"How could you? After all the pain you caused me, you still feel the need to attack my friends? What did I ever do to you? You're a coward, Dimitri Belikov. A coward and a liar." The crowd of guardians all looked at him, mixed looks of anger, confusion and distrust. I sheathed my stake and helped Lucian up. Glaring at Dimitri again, I stalked away, calling out orders to the others to keep training as normal. Lucian was hurt because of me, I owed him answers too. We went back to my house to clean up his face. I was still furious at Dimitri but he deserved my anger. He deserved everything I threw at him, verbally and physically.

" Luc.. I'm really sorry about that. He's an idiot, and I'm sorry he punched you. I'm going to kill him in training. He had no rig-" my words were cut off by Lucian's fingertips against my lips, moving his hand to cup my cheek, looking into my eyes like they held all the answers of the world.

"Shhh... tell me what happened between you and Belikov. Don't leave anything out, I'll know. I always do." H e was right. I nodded and sat him back down, holding his hands in mine and playing with his fingers. I took a deep breath before spilling the secret only four people knew.

"You know how Dimitri found me in Portland when I ran away from the Academy with Lissa? How he brought us back?" Lucian nodded so I contunes, "The only reason I was allowed to remain to stay at the academy was because Duimitri spoke for me and agreded to menotr me everyday. He was the only one to curb my headstrong recklessness. He taught me to fight, think about situation. He was the one who made me do the running. But he became more. We could read eachother, understand eachother, when no-one else could. In the gym, while sparring there would be these moments, intense moments, full of heat and electricity but we always pulled away. Victor Dashkov saw this and placed us under a lust charm when he stole Lissa away. Things got... heated." I didn't know if Lucian was listening anymore, he was staring at my hands, stroking the lines of my plam. He looked up, eyes asking me to continue.

"After that, when he killed a strigoi that was about to finish me off, he admitted he loved me. Things went back to normal then, but there was still the attraction. The night before we raided the caves, I was under the control of the dark spirits, making me murderously angry. He took me to a cabin to protect me and calm me down before I killed a couple of moroi that hurt Lissa. That's when he gave in, when he didn't to follow the rules anymore. We.. god.. we slept together. He was my first and he told me he loved me, that he would always be there for me. That he would never let anything happen to me. He lied." Lucian sensed my bitterness and held my hand tighter. "The next day, after the raids, he left to be Tasha's guardian, he said that it was a mistake, that it meant nothing. Two days later I was in Russia. That's where we met. I know it sounds stupid, but you can't imagine how I felt towards him, the connection that was there." Lucian resumed tracing patterns on my hands. The controlled breathing and tense neck told me all I needed to know. He was angry. He looked up at me again.

"Actually Roza, I do understand. You loved him, truly loved him and he let you down. I would break his jaw if I could but I think you want that honour. But Roza..." His eyes were incredibly intense as he stared into mine, our faces only inches apart. "...I do understand that connection. I understand it and I... I feel it. Now. Here. With you." and with that he closed the gap between us, kising me sweetly, softly, like all he was trying to convey that was that he cared and wouldn't hurt me. The moment simmered and he wrapped his arms around me, resting my head against his chest.

Tear=streaked, sitting in Lucian's lap and snuggling into his chest felt safe, comfortable and was exactly how Dimitri found me. His eyes and expression was locked under the guardian mask as he peered round my door, taking in me, curled up like a small chld. I turned my face away into Lucian and he stroked my hair, staring daggers at Dimitri. I didn't want to look.

"Guardian Seivre. I need to talk to you, now. Rose... Roza..." He stopped as I turned back to him, glaring for all I was worth. Then a runner burst through the door and stood panting, eyes only for me.

"Guardian Hathaway! The Queen needs you, immediately. The princess is coming, now! Queen Valissa is labour." I leapt into action. I hoped the guys would only talk and not fight, but my charge, soon to be charges, were more important. _They come first. _

Dimitri POV:

It was amazing yet, terrifying. Tasha had been killed so they sent me back to court to be a guardian to the royal fmaily. I didn't deserve it. Two out of three charges had been killed, two black marks on my name. But I arrived anyway, seeing my Roza for the first time in six years. I knew she would hate me, stubbornly set herself against me in everyway posible. But she had to still love me like I still loved her. I had to leave her before. I was endangering her chamces of graduating, I was a distraction. Tasha was the best way out. Also, as selfish as it was, I wanted a baby of my own. A child that I could love. Rose couldn't grant me that one wish. But it was no use. I couldn't live without her. I forgot who I was, I lost interest in everything. Me and Tasha didn't work anyway. But now my best friend was dead. In the gym there were heaps of guardians gathered to watch the legendary Rose Hathaway train and fight. I snuck in the back, drinking her in. sghe stood in the middle with Eddie Castile, watching the crowd with interest.

"More like an angel of death". I saw her eyes darken and everyone around me drew ina breath. They were actually afraid of her. Weird. She looked beautiful, not scary. She was clad in bike shorts and a cut off top, hugging her figure and showing off a belly buttonpiercing. She looked hot, beautiful but she was weary. I could see through the mask she had up, she was upset about something. Her haor had ben put up into a high ponytail and it was still so long and shiny. I could remember the exact feel of it, running my fingers through its entire length, the softness of it falling on my face in one of stolen kisses.

"Ok, who is man enough to face Guardian Hathaway? Anyone not broken a bone and wants to have the experience? Trust me, she's the next best thing to a strigoi if you want to see how you'll go against one." Eddie beamed in rememberence and Roza.. looked stunning and haughty. I could no longer call her a child, she was a mature young woman and looked like a goddess. A tall bulky guy stepped confidently forward after a few tense moments. He removed his baggy short, knowing full well that she would use it against him. Some of the guys chuckled, placing bets on the winner. I just watched my Roza, taking in every difference, every detail, everything.

He stepped onto the mat and Rose switched into battle mode, but nager, great burning anger and frustration lit her eyes as they ignited with the fire I had always seen in her. Her strengh, her drive her determination was one of the things that made me love her so much. She leaned forward, never blinking, watching every move he made, waiting for a mistake. A mistake he made by acting first.

He went for a feeble and obvious swipe towards her stomach, the first move taught at the academies. Rose looked amused and side-stepped easily, using his momentum to turn her and grab his throat, just as a strigoi would, though the move on their part would instantly snap the neck. Rose looked up coldly, disappointment evident.

"Dead." she simply stated the facthe just 'died' but the word echoed in my mind. Dead. Tasha dead.. the countless times Rose could have died. The crowd applauded and made fun of the guy but I was lost in thought.

"Alright. Out onto the track, 20 laps now." she sounded so much like I did, I smiled and felt proud. My Roza. They, however, were not hapy about that. One courageous boy stepped forward, arrogant and egotistical. Rose took one look and him and straightened up, hands on her hips. Her Guardian mask fell away and she glared up at him. If looks could kill, all of us would have withered and died just from just from intensity of the glare, he would have disappeared in a pile of ash right there. Her self-control has improved... if she were at the academy still, she would have ripped his head off after punching his nose in by now.

"Say you're out with your moroi and there's six strigoi. You're out-numbered but somehow managed to keep the strigoi in frony of you and the moroi behind" she made it sound as if he was far too thick to even manage that. "WHAT do you do?" I knew the answer. She had asked me the same thing, she had just changed my example. His confusion settled her victory. You run, it was simple. Her expression and tone matched mine that day. She replied to his silence.

"You grab your moroi and you first mentor was one of the best, he had me running 12 laps twice a day, everyday after I came back from being AWOL for two years. Two years where all I did was vege out in a hish school campus. Yet the running has saved me many times over. You don't want to run? I can give you the easier task of teaching academy students instead." Her threat worked and they grumbled, leaving to go to that track.

I followed them, just catching her threatening them with night-shifts if they were to slow. She was brilliant. Starting to run, she streaked ahead, running at an even speed, leaving them all to struggle. I watched like I used to at the academy, amking sure nothing slowed her progress. She finished, barely breathing hard, watching them collapse over the finish line. Instantly leader, she sent off the slowest and told the others what to train on. She was going to take on nine. How would my Roza manage all of them?

I hid in the shadows, leaning against the wall. The nione went at her simultaneously but she took every single one down, moving like a strigoi. With her back to me, I could see her tattoos. 1...2...3...4... four battle stars. My Roza.. in four battles. Her promise mark wound around them all, in it, a glimmering gold sun. I didn't know what that meant. Focusing on molijna marks, I tried counting them while she stalked the remaining three opponents. 17. 17 kills. My Roza.. had killed 17 strigoi by herself. She was lethal, beautiful, respected and amazing. I lover her, that yearning, never estinguished, flared up as strong and as persistant as before.

They all lay now, pretending to be dead or exhausted at the side. She was telling them in no uncertain terms, exactly how she thought they fought. She stood up, as beautiful and as graceful as ever. She seemed even more breathtaking now. Her hair, how I loved her hair, cascaded down her back, even when tied up. Moving over to the dummies, she began practicing more advanced moves, at one point, both feet leaving the ground and ramming into a dummy, one hand on the ground. Her other hand went to the stake strapped to her thigh as a tall dhampir guy stepped behind her, obscuring my veiw. She spun and threw herself at him, smiling as he caught her and swung her around in a hug instead of being knocked to the ground by the tackle.

He hugged her and smiled into her hair, I could see him inhaling the shampoo smell, eyes closing in bliss. Envy made my vision blur. He put her down and she smiled again, taking in his appearance like she did when looking for injuries. He had long chocolate brown hair, lighter than my own. He was taller than me, by... a lot.. and bulkier. But that didn't matter. What did matter was how he looked at her and how she smiled at him. Had she moved on like I intended her too? Had she forgotten me in her anguish? No, she couldn't have.

"Lucian! I have missed you so much! No-one here can beat me anymore. It's been pretty hectic with all the attacks as well." The way she said Lucian, it had an accent to it, one I knew. She said it with a russian lilt. I stepped closer, I needed to hear what they were saying. Lucian just studied her face. I could tell what she was feeling from here, and he had to try hard right in front of her. What chance does he have with a woman like her. But still, he wrapped his arms around her, laying his head on top of hers.

"Oh Roza. Who did this to you? Huh? Oh! Shhhh.. honey, don't cry!" I saw red again. This.. This... boy, was calling her Roza. My name for her! And she was letting him. Did what to her? I swear, I'll rip who ever hurt them limb from limb. After I punish this guy. A few tears slid down her cheeks and he held her closer, stroking her hair, murmering to her in russian. "It's alright, Roza, my love. I'm here, I won't let anyone hurt you. You're safe. If only you knewm if only I could tell you how much I love you. It would be so much easier than this" I knew she didn't understand what he was saying, but I could. I felt my control slipping. She pulled away and looked at his feet instead of his face. She was embarrassed. "Roza.. Look at me. What's wrong? You can tell me. And don't bother lying, you know I see right through it all. I know something pains you, I knew it ever since the first day I found you in Russia" he said Roza again. But wait... my Roza was in Russia? Why was she in Russia of all places? Unless... she wouldn't have gone there to look for me, I never gave her my reason for leaving. Or even say goodbye. How much had I hurt her? She stepped away, picking up the pieces of her guardian mask. "Speaking of Russia... how is everybody? Oleona, Viktoria and Karo? Has Sonya had the baby yet? Yeva as scary as ever? Man, I miss them all so much. Did you give them their present?" Oleona... Viktoria... Sonya... Yeva... Karo... all my family. How did she meet them? Why did she go there! Yeva knew about us! Why... I wanted to take Roza into Russia to my family myself. Sonya was pregnant again? "Well, Viktoria stopped hating you after the party issue. Oleona wants you to come back, she really misses you. The baby is a little boy called Vladmir. Paul lost his first tooth and Yeva, well, she's still Yeva". HE was visiting my family? Party issues? If Viktoria was going to moroi parties... I clenched my fists, not really wanting to listen anymore. I strode up behind them and she whirled around to face me. She glared and it still took my breath away. "Roza...? Who.. is.. he?" he looked like he wanted to step back from my expression and step forward to protect her from me. Coward. I found myself speaking in a dark and dangerous voice. "Roza? Roza! How dare you call her that. Why were you even near my family?" she stood in front of him, making me calm slightly, but his hands appeared on her shoulders. Anger clouded my thoughts again. How dare he touch her... how dare he even think about it. I was the only one who could touch her like that. The night at the cabin flashed back, the best night of my life. The feel of her soft skin, the warmth of her touch, her lips yielding beneath my own. "Guardian Belikov, I know you must be upset after Lady Ozera's death, I would rather we saved this coversation for another, more appropriate time. As you can see, Guardian Seivre and I have matters to discuss." Her words stung and I had to refrain from flinching. She was mad, but I could still feel the connection, the understanding between us, the spark in her eyes. I resumed hiding behind my mask again. I controlled my voice before speaking again, I did't want to hurt my love more than I already had. "Of course Guardian Hathaway. Would you mind stepping outside with me for a moment. I need to discuss something very important with you. Privately." I pulled my self control back, trying to keep it together. Her brow pulled together, stress making her quiver. I longed to hug her, touch her hair, press my face into her neck and let my emotions consume me. Her eyes clouded with spirit darkness and I mentally cursed. I pulled her our of his grip, looking deep into her eyes, filled with misery, pain, torment, new tears forming. I saw the determination return and she snapped out of it. "Actually Dimitri Belikov. I DO mind. You see, I am a busy person, picking up the pieces of my life that YOU walked out of. So, I 'm sorry if you want me to stop my life for you again, but I can;t do that. I'm not like you you, I'm not going to ditvh my enitre family just so I can go off and wallow in my misery JUST because YOU broke my heart. Do you have any idea how much they miss you? How they hung onto every word I said to them about you? It's selfish." She finished her tirade with my back against the wall, the shame and guilt making me avert my eyes. I had abandoned my family. She saw me, my actions, my soul through my wall and mask. She knew me as well, if not better than myself. I had to try make her see. I spoke in russian instead. "I should never have left you. I loved you, I love you still. I'm sorry I hurt you." But I forgot Lucian would understand me. He looked ready to kill. "You! You're the reason she went on that suicide mission to Russia! You're why she has been miserable all these years! Do you have any idea how long everyone had to work to get her to trust them? You have ruind her trust in everything. The weeks she cried herself to sleep at night, the months she refused to eat! And it was all because of you!" He was in my face, glaring at me. I glared at him right back. He was trying to steal my reason for living away from me. Roza desperately tried to pull him away, she knew my anger, my skills, my want to end this. He looked at her, all his emotions plain on his face, including his love for her. She looked shocked until that calculating gleam made her change tactics. Pleading with her eyes, making herself look slightly more vulnerable to get him to want to go to her more than his want to kill me. The other guardians gathered around us, like kids in a playground fight.

"Sorry Belikov, I'm going to have to rearrange your face another time. We NEED to talk Roza." I lost it, leaping at him instantly. Lucian pushed her away from me, not leaving enough time to block me and protect himself. I crashed into him with the force of a small elephant. Facing Lucian again, I stopped. Roza was crouched above him, stake drawn in a defensive pose. She glared at me, her top lip lifting in a feral snarl.

"How could you? After all the pain you caused me, you still feel the need to attack my friends? What did I ever do to you? You're a coward, Dimitri Belikov. A coward and a liar." She was completely right, I was a coward. I ran away from all my problems. Just like when Ivan died, I ran from my family, away from friends, when things with Roza got hard I left her for Tasha, ran away instead of taking the next step. The crowd didn't know what to think but knew I wasn't to be trusted. She left with Lucian, holding him up and yelling orders at the others. I needed to see Adrain. They were both best friends now, he could tell me what I needed to know.

Knocking on his door, I heard bottles clinking as someone heaved themselves to their feet. I hope he was sober... It opened and he peered out at me, eyes bloodshot. He was hungover, not drunk. He rubbed his head, trying to chase away a headache. I never really liked him, but now I needed him. Hate twisted his features as he recognized me.

"What do you want craddle-robber?" So he knew. Ah.. auras.. of course. But craddle-robber? What did he mean by that? I nodded at him respectfully and lowered my voice.

"Lord Ishakov, I need to speak with you about Rose. Please. It's important." He looked hurt by her name but stepped aside anyway. His room was messed up, empty bottles everywhere. I raised one eyebrow, smiling when I remebered all the times Rose tried to do the same.

"Adrian. What happened when I left?" I cringed. I really didn't want to make him angry, he had no bond to take away the darkness.

"I can't tell you, but I can show you. But only if you really want to know. You have to realise you destroyed her." I knew he meant using spirit, projecting the memory into my head. But I needed to see. He sighed and then I felt warmth flood my mind.

Adrian's Memory Begins:

I saw Rose running from the gym, her hair streaming behind her. Her aura was dark grey and black, swirling like storm clouds. She was angry. Sparks of blue went through it like lightening. She ran and ran, slamming her dorn door behind her. What had Dimitri said to her. How did he hurt her so? I knew it was him. It was her training time. I followed her, finding her curled up under a set of stairs.

"Little Dhampir? What did he say? What happened?" Tears continued their miserable trek down her face and she looked up at me with heartbroken eyes. I had never seen Rose truly cry and look so defeated. I sat down on the cold concrete floor, ignoring the chill seeping through my clothes. I pulled her over. Letting her cry into my shirt. I could see her misery, feel her pain. I knew this was going to effect us, but I was prepared to be her friend, that's it. Her ability to trust would only allow that now.

"Dimi- Guardian Belikov is leaving with Tasha Ozera. To become her guardian and... " She disolved into tears again. I guess. There was one thing that I knew Dimitri wanted a chance at, I had seen it in his aura around parents. Something he thought Rose couldn't give him. Children. But he was wrong. She was shadow-kissed, she was life and death, walking the line of both. But that simple or not so simple fact meant she could have children with a dhampir, but only if they were soulmates, true matches. Something I wasn't going to tell her. Not now. I held her tight. Rose Hathatway was crying. I loved her enough to know she couldn't love me back, not now he had shattered her heart into a thousand pieces.

END OF MEMORY.

I gasped as Adrian finished that memory. My vision returned and I stared at him. Roza could have children.. possibly with me. My heart stopped. Anguish took over but the next memory assaulted my mind, a memory that I dreaded having to see, even through Adrians eyes. Roza had gone, leaving behind a note that sealed her fate.


	3. Missing

Adrian's Memory:

Rose was gone. She had disappeared during our night, the humans day, slipping past every single guard, warden and ward. They checked everywhere, no-one had seen or heard her but we knew she had broken into the guardians gear room. Three stakes were missing so she wasn't un-protected. All of her practical clothing was gone and she wasn't coming back. Lissa was in hysterics already, pushed even more over the edge when she found out she was pregnant with Christians baby. Alberta didn't know what to do, the academies best novice had vanished off the face of the earth. Again. But now, without Lissa tagging along, she would be almost impossible to find. Alberta was outraged when she read Dimitri's reports on Rose, the ones left by him. They all made it very clear that Rose was capable of breaking into a maximum security prison, and getting back out of school would be no problem. Headmistress wanted to call him to find her again but I told her it wouldn't make a difference, Rose didn't want to be found by anyone.

Rose had left a note on her bed, written on a scrap of paper, torn, just like my heart. That note will haunt me for the rest of my life. Her familiar scrawl made my heart wrench as I re-read it again, the creases from being opened so much on the verge of ripping.

_I'.m sorry Liss... Adrian.. Sparky. Don't follow me down the path I have chosen. I am going to be the last thing they ever see. I blame them for everything. Screw the world._

She wanted to die. I didn't know where she was going but I knew that when she said 'they', she meant strigoi, the only things that she knew were evil and to blame for her mother abandoning her at the academy, the reason she couldn't lead a 'normal' life like the moroi.

I opened my emails, tired from staying up all night, scouring the moroi world for a trace of her. She didn't have money in a bank account, so that made tracing transactions impossible, while sorting through every flight from Montana would take a long time. I had to start somewhere. An email from the alchemists caught my eye, they always had files on people and things happening. This one was from Russia, odd, they never really contacted the U.S.A. for help.

_Moroi Lord,_

_We heard about St. Vladmir's loss of Rosemarie Hathaway and believe she may be in Russia. As we speak, Russia is being purged of Strigoi, keeping us very busy. In 5 days and 13 hours, 117 strigoi bodies have been found. They were all killed with a silver stake in the same manner. We know they are all linked as they all bear the same marks, indicating a very singular fighting style. We beg that you contact one of our Academies and arrange an investigation as to her whereabouts. Our apologies for your loss and we hope you find her soon. _

I phoned Alberta immediately and she knocked on my door five minutes later. I may not be a student but I was talking about Rose, whom Alberta thought of as a daughter. Her face was as tired as I felt and I knew she hadn't stopped looking yet. I showed her the email and hope lit her eyes again. She thought it was Rose too, the kills were all clean, efficient, trained, a bloody trail of bodies cut through Siberia, ending in Baia. We phoned the closest academy and they agreed to look, even if they didn't believe that one of our novices could kill so many in so little time. They were going to send one of their guardians that was to guard Lissa back with her if they found her. Guardian Lucian Seivre. The days went by in a blur, it was 3 weeks since they started looking.. three very long weeks.

I looked up from my bottle of vodka, watching Alberta approach me, she smiled and I felt my heart lift at the sight of it. Rose couldn't be found... could she?

"Adrian! Guardian Seivre wants to speak with you on the phone, now. She's been seen." Alberta's voice cracked and I saw the tears of relief as I ran past her, sprinting to her office and grabbing the phone where I knew he would be waiting.

"Adrian Ishakov speaking." I didn't bother with my title, instead waiting with bated breath. Guardian Seivre had personally started looking for her everywhere, giving us daily reports after we sent him her file.

"Adrian, hi, it's Lucian. We found her. We have a family looking after her in the commune in Baia. Oleona Belikov was more than happy to give up their spare bedroom." My mind stopped. Belikov? Crap! Rose was staying with the family of the man who broke her. "Do you know why she came to Russia? She's in a pretty bad way, I have to warn you. But we have a full kill count and it's pretty impressive. She has faced 220 strigoi and killed 203 of them. I think the alchemists are mad though. But, I have a question that I need answered Lord Ishakov, if you don't mind?" what on earth could he want to know that wasn't on her file.

"Sure Lucian, what do you need to know?" My voice trembled despite my best efforts and I was holding back tears of relief of my own.

"Who hurt her like this? Who caused her so much pain?" He was so right about her. Dimitri had done this. I felt the horror of it shut my brain down. How could I answer him? Rose wouldn't want it widely known, especially since Lucian was to be her partner in guarding Lissa. She could tell him in her own time, I owed her that. She was going to hate me when she finds out I notified her father of her absence.

"I'm sorry Lucian, I know it's a poor way to repay you after all you have done for us but I can't tell you that. That's for Rose to tell you, not me. But why do you ask?" what had Rose said? What had she done? I know Rose was great at hiding emotions so no-one could tell what she was really feeling. Either this guy was great at reading people or she had told him or worse, maybe she looked as bad as I envisioned.

"Um... as I said before, she is in a pretty bad way. But when I took her to the Belikovs, she was un-concious and kept muttering things. Something about "their fault" and "mistake". Then she started going on about "he left". I know she is hurting. But I'll ask her myself, just later. I'll bring her back tomorrow. Good-bye Lord Ishakov." I hung up the phone, letting my joy escape! Rose was coming back!

Lissa was over joyed, but I knew she still felt betrayed. I sighed and went back to my room preparing to drown myself in vodka, the spirit induced headache coming back as the alcohol wore off. I had quit smoking for Rose but I still needed my drinks. I felt the numbness and my grasp on the magic faded, letting me enjoy my solitude. When I finally emerged, it was our morning and Rose was arriving. Today.

I waited at the gates with Alberta and Lissa, standing with bated breath every time a car passed. Then one pulled in. A man that looked a lot like Dimitri waved from the front seat, but I knew it was Lucian. His aura was concerned, happy and slightly love-struck. Who did he love...?

He stepped out and went to the backseat. Rose wasn't getting out herself. He lifted out a small bag and then reached in further. Then he pulled put Rose. He cradled her gently against his chest, making sure nothing touched her. She barely looked like Rose anymore. He held he with one arm as he shut the door, apologising when the loud noise made her flinch.

"I'm sorry Roza... You're home now, your friends are here to see you." he spoke low and soft, his aura lighting up with compassion. He truly cared about her. As he got closer to us, I looked at her properly. She was pale and tired looking, her hair seeming even darker in contrast to her face. Her eyes were closed, the purple shadows making them seem sunken. There was a bruise across her cheek and she looked weak, like she hadn't eaten for a while. But her aura was the worst. It was pitch black , the emotions still like lightening strikes. Misery, torment, sadness, anger and tiredness. Exhaustion that reached her very soul. But she trusted Lucian, tursted him, leaned on him. I felt the jealousy but squashed it back, I was her friend thats all. He carried her to us, holding her close, watching all around. The need to protect flared up in him and focused on me, recognizing me instantly.

She was unconcious again, her minds way of protecting itself, but Lissa healed the darkness in her and all her injuries, leaving her to rest again. I stayed in the waiting room, sleeping on the couch until she came round. She did, in the middle of the night. Screaming.

I jolted awake, hearing a blood-curdling scream making the hair on the back of my neck rise. Rose. She had been back a week, she hadn't eaten anything other than the food the nurse had all but forced her to eat. She hadn't slept through the night without waking up screaming in terror. It was tiring for everyone, but it wasn't my night. I had to ignore it. It was Lucian's shift, sleeping in the chair in her bedroom , waiting for her to wake. Last time she had woken up alone she had tried to escape again, we couldn't allow it. Even if she didn't eat, she did train. She spent all her classes trying to be her normal bad-ass self, and every spare minute training. Her new mentor, Alex taught her at the same time that Dimitri used to, he never left the gym without a new bruise. Soon, she had learnt all he could teach and a new mentor was found. Rose was changing, but she was the best novice the academy had ever seen. But, she was broken.

End of Memory.

My Roza.. I had done this to her. .. I thanked Adrian and left at a run. I needed to make things right again. The door to the guardian lodgings opened as I walked towards it, Eddie stepped out, glared at me and stalked off. I sighed. I did this to myself, of course they would all hate me. The warden looked up at me and raised an eyebrow.

"Guardian Belikov, your room is ready for you, what else do you need?" I didn't know what to ask first. But I went with the easiest. I needed to talk to Roza and now.

"Can you tell me which is Guardian Hathaways room? I have some important.. guardian things to discuss with her." It was a lame excuse but she nodded her head anyway.

"Guardian Hathaway lives in the house next to the grove. Just knock." Roza didn't live in the guardian lodgings? I nodded in thanks and saw the house she meant. It screamed Roza. I smiled at it, looking at the strategic placement of the doors and windows. The door was open so I knocked and poked my head around the door. Roza was there, sitting on the lap of Lucian, tear tracks on her cheeks. She turned her head away from me and into his chest and he tightened his arms around her, glaring at me with hate in his eyes. So she had told him. He stroked her hair, calming her down.

"Guardian Seivre. I need to talk to you, now. Rose... Roza..." I kept my voice under control, trying to get Rose to listen, to hear what I needed her to understand. A runner burst into the room, looking panicked, fixing his eyes on Rose.

"Guardian Hathaway! The Queen needs you, immediately. The princess is coming, now! Queen Valissa is labour." Rose lept up, her mask and compassion for her friend making her forget us. Her need to help Lissa over-powering all else. She sprinted from the room, leaving me and Lucian looking after her in shock.

Lucian POV:

I watched Roza take-off out the door, wanting to follow but the Queen having a baby wasn't something I really wanted to witness. Dimitri stared after her as well, longing and jealousy in his eyes. My mind was still buzzing, the feel of Roza in my arms warmed me and I felt like laughing. I had basically admitted that I loved her and she... My Roza. Her lips were like satin, how long I had waited, dreaming , to feel them pressed against mine. I sighed, fixing Dimitri in a glare. He hurt her, how dare he. How could anyone even dream of hurting Roza at all?

"Why are you here Belikov? What do you want from me?" I kept my anger in check, waiting for him to speak. Why would he want to talk to me anyway, he knew that I wouldn't hesitate from removing him from the court. I hated him. I never really took such strong dislike to people but I realised that the fury making my stomach clench and twist into steel knots was towards him. It was the protective side only Roza could bring out in me, the side only she could control.

"What do you want with my Roza?" I almost snorted. His  Roza? He gave up the claim he had over her the moment her abanoned her. He was a fool for even toying with the idea of leaving, she was like drug. The more time you spent with her, the more addicted you became. The way her eyes conveyed so much, how soft they went when she let her guard down, the icy distance they gained when facing some she didn't like, the fire in them when she wanted something she couldn't get.

"_Your _Roza? She isnt your anything. She used to be but you lost that when you left her broken. Especially after sleeping with her, promising her you'd be there. You idiot! Was she just a play thing to you. Belikov? A toy you can pick up and put down as you choose?" his shocked expression just fueled my rant and I continued, my outrage making me pace. "Well, I won't let it happen again, you won't hurt her again. I love her and I'm not such a fool as you to walk away from that. You have no right to demand answers from me or her. You want to know what I want with her? I want her, I want her strength, courage, love, companionship and I want to give her so much more. I'm not going to leave her, not for anything in the world. I'm warning you now Belikov, if you hurt her again, in anyway, you will not live to regret it." The venom in my voice made him regain his speech, quickly.

"Is that a threat, Seivre?" His voice was low, strained, he was trying as hard as I was to keep his temper under control. Too bad.

"No. It's a promise." I made my voice dark, menacing and I knew my eyes would darken. Stepping closer to him, looking him right in the eyes. I was about 3 inches taller, towering above him , making my self seem bigger in my anger. He regarded me coolly, standing his ground. His courage was impressive but was meaningless in this situation.

"Well, it makes no difference. You are right, I was an idiot. But you'll see. I won't stop fighting for her, I never will. My heart belongs to her like she belongs with me. I will get her back." His determination was pathetic. But there was no way I was letting her slip away to this jerk. I remebered what I knew of him, how he beat up his father, he was a coward, like she said.

"No, Dimitri. It does make a difference. You are no different to your father. She's mine." I all but snarled the last words, finally letting my control go. Blocking out thoughts of when he did have her, how she would have tasted, how she would have lay in his arms. He didn't deserve her.

We were pulled put of pur stare-off by Adrian whistling by the door, taking in our stances with raised eye brows. I nodded to him, still glaring at Dimitri. Adrian knew everything, he wouldn't care of I took Dimitri apart.

"I really hate to break this up but Rose wants you both up at the royal lodgings. The princess has been born and both of you are her guardians. You need to be present, but if you're not going to be gentle and respectable, I will tell them you were having a moment." Dimitri straightened up, slipping into guardian mode, briskly walking out the door and towards the main building. Prick . I sighed again, joining Adrian at the door watching Dimitri's retreating figure.

"Thanks Adrian, I don't know what that would have turned into if you hadn't shown up." I knew one of us wouldn't have walked out of it. Adrian chuckled in response, shaking his head.

"Your auras were radiating out of the house like a wild fire, it was hard to ignore, so much jealousy, angst and hate, rage. I thought Rose had been taken over by the spirits. But no, just you and craddle-rober battling it out over our fair Rose." He laughed at his own joke, making a dhampir girl passing him blush and scurry along. When we made it to the room the new princess was in, most of the other guardians were already there. Rose had hand-picked the ruling family's guardians, making a strong team of 8. Now it was 9. Rose, Alex, Daniel, Eddie, Cam, Alberta, Wes and I were the main guards, now Dimitri had joined us. We were the elite. We had to guard Christian, Lissa, Christine and now Adrienne Rose Dragomir.

We watched as Lissa, exhausted and pale handed her to Rose, collapsing back onto the pillows. We saw Christian pacing anxiously in the lobby, banished from their floor by Rose. We sent Adrian down to get him while Rose helped Lissa lay down comfortably and wiped the sweat from her forhead. Arienne safely tucked in the crook of Rose's arm. When Lissa was asleep, Rose left her side, bringing Adrienne to us, presenting our newest charge. The baby was small, a sparse covering of white blond hair gleaming in the faint light. I smiled in spite of my black mood, while Dimitri practically glowed, stretching his arms out to hold her. Rose permitted him to hold her, watching impatiently, disproval clear on her face. That is until Dimitri began cooing. I don't think Rose knew what to think. I didn't know myself. It was a mixture between the funniest thing I had ever seen and then one of the cutest.

Christain burst in after that, the very image of the desperately worried new father. His face cracked into a grin and he strode forward and carefully held Adrienne, cradling her and kissing her forhead. We melted out the door, leaving them to enjoy their family time.

Rose POV.

After we left Lissa to sleep and Christian to play daddy, I was frustrated again. Dimitri. He had wanted to hold Adrienne and I had let him, not knowing what to expect. Anything than what happened. He held her like she was the most beautiful thing in the world, cooing to her like he was insane. It was so cute and sweet. I almost forgot I was mad at him. Almost. I took the team to the gym, there was no way they were going to slack off now we had an extra member. I turned to them watching them switch from gooey baby brains to serious guardians.

"Ok, we need to practice with all the gear. Get changed and meet me back here, I will fit Guardian Belikov." They all nodded, smiling. Since I had become the head of the team, we had new gear that would help us. Most of it I had designed, knowing what would work after my time in Russia.

" First you need boots. Find you size on the racks and I will get your daggers." We had strong boots, soft but with excellent grip, they had a pocket in the side of both that allowed a thin dagger to be concealed, convenient when you lost your stake. The dagger was flat and easier to slip through ribs as a last ditch attempt. My boots were knee high, great for shopping and protecting my calves, they were made from tough leather, that still looked stylish.

Dimitri wove his way through the different racks of gear, making his way back to me. Black leather books in hand. I fitted the daggers to them and led him to the other side of the room. I felt my face go warm as I knelt and raised his pants leg to his knee, fitting a stake strap to his calf. He chuckled and I dragged my nails a little deeper the necessary when tightening one of the straps. Straightening up, I glared at him, turning my back. Bastard. The electricity that I felt when we touched was faint, growing stronger, making me ache. I hated it. Why did he still have this power over me?

His leather duster had a stake in it already so I skipped that, going to the leather arm braces that would support his forearms in a hand to hand fight and stop a strigoi's fangs sinking into to them. Next were the vests. They had leather outers and had titanium plates in them, lightwieght and positioned to be really flexible for all our movements. They were like a second skin, designed to be worn under our clothes and protect us from the blows. They were very thin and fitting enough for me to wear under a tight dress and go unnoticed. Mine was more like a corset than the guys vest, meaning I wasn't compromised in any way. They kept us safe. I felt my embarrassment grow as I realised what I had to ask Dimitri next.

"Take off your shirt and try these on. They need to be light and comfortable." His eyes smirked and he slowly pulled his shirt off, making sure I had an eyeful of abs. His entire chest was even more muscled than when we were at the academy. His skin smelled the same, the enticing scent, entoxicating, filling me up. It invited me to his warm, tanned and soft skin, smooth and strong. He pulled it on and turned around so I could strap up the back, the leather string like a corset again. It fit well so I dumped all his stuff in his arms and stalked out, slamming the door behind me.

Lucian looked worried at my expression but chucked me my bag. He had probably managed to open my locker for once. I smiled at him, remembering this morning. I heard Dimitri leave the gear room and I didn't even turn to look, I just kept walking to get changed. I let my happy expression fall off my face the minute they couldn't see me. Stupid Dimitri. I pulled my bike shorts back on, fastening the strap back in place on my thigh. My stake had my personal markings on it, a combination of leaves and stars. My boots and daggers were next, they were slightly worn but they were my favourite, I couldn't replce them.. My vest was strapless, the lacing at the back was already adjusted to my size so all I needed to do was clip it up at the front. I smiled a savage smile at the warrior I saw in the mirror. My arm braces and gloves completed the look. I tied my hair back up and strode out the door where they were assembling.

We faced off one by one, making sure everyone had a turn to fight each member of the team. Our stratagy planning meant we could co-ordinate our attacks, we hadn't lost a team member yet. At last Lucian stepped forward to face me.

I grinned briefly and we launched oursleves at eachother at the exact same time. It was like a perfectly synchronized dance, coming to close to touching and then our moves whirling us away again. The tension and prmal intincts of the fight flooded adrenalin into our systems, keeping us on our toes. My hair tie flung off and my hair whipped around with me. All the others had stopped now, watching our intense battle. Our kicks and ounches were deflected, both of us knowing eachiothers moves. Ikicked out with both feet, one hand balanceing my on the ground, managing to push him off balance, he landed on his. I leapt on him but he bucked beneath me, rolling us over so I was under him instead. I pulled my legs up, managing to knee him in the back and sene him tumbling over my head.

My breathe began to come in harder pants as the dance began again. I tried sweeping his legs out from under him but he did a backwards flip, landing further back. I went in again but fiented at the last moment, catching him off guard and forcing him to the ground again. I smiled and pressed my lips to his neck.

"You got bitten Luc, better luck next time." I grinned, my hair falling over his face, both of us breathing hard, the adrenalin and battle lust still raging in our eyes. He started laughing, the sound was rich and comforting, I loved his laugh.

"Little Minx.. you get me everytime." He chuckled before pulling me down against his chest and standing, my feet over a foot off the ground. He put me down and the group stacked fists before heading out. We had to pack before heading out to St. Vladimirs to check on Christine and bring her back to see her sister. My phone rang and I picked it up instantly, half out of my vest.

"Hathaway" My business tone meant no messing around. The caller was my type of person, straight to the point.

"Guardian Hathaway, we need your team at St. Vladimirs ASAP. Princess Christine has been taken from school grounds. We found blood." My heart stopped beating for a second before picking up double time. Shit!


	4. Confessions

Rose POV:

I ran back to the gym, pulling my shirt on over my vest. The last of the team was walking out so I put on a burst of speed. I caught up to Cam and called the others back. They knew something was up and hurried back, scanning the area around us for danger. They were all quite a bit taller than me and they stood around me, waiting for the attack that wouldn't come.

"Ok guys. Pack up fast. All your gear, we are going hunting." Their mixed looks made me sigh in frustration. Cam and Daniel looked eager and determined. Dimitri and Lucian were glaring at eachother again, god, what was I going to do with them? Alex was murmering quietly to Wes, comparing staking techniques while Alberta studied me carefully, she at least knew that something was wrong and it wasn't just a casual hunt. "C'mon people, I need you to be serious! Christine has been snatched from the academy. Meet at Monster in 20 minutes, any guardian that falls behind, is left behind." That sobered them up. We all made our way to our respective rooms, strained silence. All of us loved little Christine. She had long, very straight honey blonde hair and the bluest eyes I have ever seen. She was slim and tall for her age. She sadly had a temperament similar to Christians than Lissa though.

I ran back to my house, sending Daniel to go tell Lissa what was happening. It was time to gear up properly, civilian style. Wearing jeans meant I couldnt wear my thigh strap and extra stake but I chucked it in my back pack anyway. My vest was already on so I slipped my button up blouse with long sleeves to hide my arm braces. Pulling on my favourtite boots, I reveled in the comfy feel of them. It made me feel safer knowing they had never failed to aid me. Slotting the two daggers in place and checking that they were still hidden, I felt dangerous. I left my tangled hair out. I could do it on the plane, pulled on my gloves and turned to my dresser.

My black leather jacket hung, waiting for me, inviting me to slip it on. It was my favourite possesion apart from my stake. I had bought it in Russia while I was with the Belikovs, Oleona had adjusted it so it would move more for fighting and had a hidden stake pocket in the inside of each side. I chucked extra jeans and clothes, toiletries and first aid kit already in the bottom. Only 10 minutes had passed and I jumped up, jamming my ear piece back in and jogging out the door. The team was coming out of the guardian lodgings, the ones I refused to live in. Cam swung a key around his finger, grinning. He flew Monster along with Wes. Monster was our personal jet, Wes and Cam our pilots.

Once on the jet, everyone settled down in their prespective seats. We all had our preferences and had personalised where we liked to sit. I personally like sitting backwards, facing everyone else. Dimitri sat at the very back , hidden in shadows. I glared at him and brushed my hair, struggling to get the knots out the very back. It wasn't working. I sighed in frustration and slammed my hair brush down on the seat beside me.

"Hey litte Minx, frustrated there?" Lucian's smooth voice sounded right behind me. He leapt the chair and sat beside me, picking up my brush. I smiled and turned my back to him, letting him brush my hair with gentle strokes. I wanted to ask him about before, about where we would go from here.

"Hey Luc... " I started thinking about what I was going to say to him. " Um... could you please plait it too?" I chickened out. Rose Hathaway chickened out. He laughed again. It's what made him so different to Dimitri, he actually laughed and smiled, showing his true emotions. I had to work so hard to get even the smallest true smile from Dimitri. I felt Lucians nimble fingers begin to braid my hair, I didn't even know he could plait. I had to stop myself from shivering whenever his finger tips brushed my neck, which was often. The slightest touch felt like it was warming my bones, making my muscles the consistancy of jello. He laughed again, stroking my cheek with the edge of his hand. I loved his laugh, it made me smile and feel happy too.

"Your hair is like silk, Roza. It's beautiful." He ran his hand down the plait and let it drop wistfully. "So.. what's the plan, O, fearless leader?" He smirked as I turned to face him, putting my feet on his lap and leaning against the wall.

"Plan? What Plan? Barge on in, demand answers and charge off, that's always the plan." I joked around, enjoying myself while I could. When we landed, we would be on duty until we found her. Strigoi were getting smarted and managing to live in larger groups, some over a hundred. Victor was behind it, he had turned strigoi, hell bent on killing Lissa and I.

"Hey Roza, you'll be okay. Just rest and i'll look after you, don't worry." Lucian slid over to me, letting my head rest against his shoulder. I felt my conciousness slipping away and my mind started to wander.

Lucians warm lips brushed against mine, capturing my mouth in a kiss that rapidly got heated. I ran my hands over his chest, his chiseled abs and muscles, marveling at the warmth and smoothness of his skin. He began kissing my neck , his hands roaming over my shoulders and into my hair. I wove my fingers in his hair, releasing it from its pontail and bringing his face back to mine. He pulled away for air, resting his cheek on mine, his warm breath tickling my neck.

I opened my eyes quickly, wondering what I was staring at. The dream was so real, so vivid, I wish it was. It made me feel like crying. It had been so long since I felt that someone really wanted me at all, since anybody truly cared. The thing in front of my face moved up and down slowly. I was lying on my side, my head on a soft, warm pillow. Then I realised I was looking at a stomach, and the black moving thing was a shirt. I looked up. Lucians head was slumped to the side, his breath tickling my neck. Oh... that's what it was.. I snuggled my head further along his lap so my shoulder touched his thigh, warming it back up. His fist curled tighter on my waist, as if to hold me closer. I smiled.

I turned over, checking on the others. Cam and Daniel were playing poker while everyone else was asleep. Except for Dimitri. Dimitri was watching me, watching him. His expression was sad and lonely, wistful. Even if he hurt me, I needed to talk to him. I carefully slid off the seats and lay my jacket on Lucians lap. Cam nodded at me as Daniel started removing his shoes. Strip poker. His eyes sparkled with amusement, like he was daring me to join in. I grinned my makes-men-weak-at-the-knees smile and seductively lifted the edge of my shirt. He laughed with me as Daniel toppled over, one hand trapped in the laces of one shoe. I reached Dimitri and sat a seat away from him.

"What's up Comrade? And if you say us, I'll quite happily murder you." I didn't really want to deal with 'the skye' comments from him, not today. He eyes showed his amusement but his face stayed in a frown. He looked like he was considering a zen life lesson.

"Your fighting style is different. I thought I had you figured out." it was a simple statement. It was true. My fighting style was very different than when he last fought me. I had gone and mastered the techniques of Alex, Lucian, Cedric, Stan and Dimitri, mixing them up and discovering my own while hunting in Russia. I nodded, waiting for him to continue. "Roza... why did you go to Russia? I need to know." His voice was soft and pleading. I froze in shock. What would I tell him? I swallowed, thinking hard. "If you answer all my questions, I'll answer all yours, I promise." I started to chuckle.

"Sorry Belikov, your promises don't mean squat to me anymore." I let it hang, he at least had the decency to look ashamed. "Besides, I thought you knew. I went for revenge. It's the strigoi's fault. They are the reason dhampirs can't live their own lives, they are why moroi are so frightened." I whispered the next bit, unable to stop myself but not wanting him to hear. "and because they are the reason we fell apart. If we weren't guardians we could have been together." He drew in a deep breath, indicating he had in fact heard. I looked over at him, startled by the tortured expression and the tears threatening to spill over. I moved closer to him and watching his defenses crumble away.

"Roza... you went... all the way to Russia.. killed over.. 200.. strigoi... just.. because.. I left? you.. risked your.. life..? I'm sorry... I never meant.. to hurt you... I was trying.. to protect.. you. Stop the distractions.. before graduation.. I'm sorry.." I was bewildered. Dimitri was barely coherant, crying into his hands. I had pushed him to breaking point. No, we had pushed eachother to breaking point. I cautiously began rubbing circles on his back, trying to sooth the sobs that rocked his body. He leaned over against me, burying his face in my neck. I could feel his tears hitting my skin. I let him lean, the hole in my heart contricting, knowing it would be ripped apart again. I couldn't him back. He would do it again. Everyone left eventually, taking a piece of me with them, it was too dangerous to let them in.

"Don't worry about it Comrade. I'm ok now, see? I survived. I even got the neat sun tattoo. You were right anyway. I can't give you what you want the most." It still hurt to say it, but it was true. Luican and I were the same age anyway, Dimitri was 30 now. But still, his shaking frame seemed so young and vulnerable. He lifted his head to look at me, tears clinging to his long black lashes.

"Rose, I NEVER believed that. You give me everything I need just by breathing. And you can have kids with a dhampir! Didn't Adrian tell you?" I brushed a tear away from his cheek, watching his eyes flutter shut as he leaned into my palm. My heart melted a little, weakening my resolve slightly. His troubled eyes made me want to lie, to give in to him but it wasn't right anymore. The electricity had faded for me, the connection had been broken.

"No, Dimitri. You did believe it. I couldn't give you the one thing you wanted. Adrain did tell me. But the part if me that could have made that happen died 6 years ago. It left when you did and it's never coming back. I'm sorry Dimitri, but we can't work. Not anymore. You broke me, my hope, my heart, my trust, everything into thousands of tiny pieces. Then you stomped on them when you chose Tasha." I brushed my lips against his briefly before rising and returning to my seat. Cam stood up again, making his way to the cock-pit to relieve Wes from pilot. I had told Dimitri the half truth. I knew I still loved him but I couldn't be with him, not now.

I sat back down with Lucian, leaning against his shoulder again. He didn't wake up thankfully. But what he did you was start mumbling. I was about to wake him when I heard my name.

"Mmmmm... Roza...Wait.. no! Where.. are you...taki... taking... m..my.. Roz..a" I smiled, smoothing the worried crease in his forhead. He woke up and smiled at me, trying to inconspicously look me over for injuries. I rolled my eyes and lifted his arm, putting it around my shoulder. It felt safer that way.

"Hey Luc, what do we do now? Where do _we _go from here?" He understood my question and leaned his head against mine thinking about how to answer me. He rubbed cirles on my hand with his thumb, his fingers on my wrist picking up the heartbeat that thrummed there.

"Calm down honey, I won't bite." He laughed at his own joke. He has always called me minx or honey, ever since Russia when I poured honey on his head by accident. Well... "accident". "we go to the academy, we find the strigoi who stole Chrissy and wipe the floor with them then we take her back home, have the weekend off and vege out in the house, snuggling together and watching horror movies to make us laugh because they are so pathetic." I laughed. The picture he painted was perfect, what I wanted and needed. I glanced up at him, meeting his steady gaze. It filled me with warmth and love and I raised my chin higher, looking him directly in the eyes. His eyes smouldered at me and he leant down closer. My dream flashed through my mind and I inched a little closer. He did the same, our noses were touching now, I could taste his breath, it was like cinnamin and honey, intoxicating.

"Ok crew, beginning to descend towards St. Vladmirs private air strip, put you tough faces on and prepare to inspire some little novices." Cam's voice interupted our almost kiss and I looked away in frustration at the same time as Lucian did. We sat back, watching the buildings get closer. I had a really bad feeling about this in evey way, every fibre of my being was preparing for fight, flight or die trying. I knew I was going to lose someone I love, I could feel it in my bones, just like with Mason. Just who was it?


	5. Fading

The plane began to descend and the buildings of my old academy came into veiw. I sighed and put on my mask, knowing how the novices faces would go from respect to awe in a matter of seconds when they saw my marks. I knew it yet I hated it. They thought it was all about glory, but the marks I bore reminded me of lives lost, of the pain I went through to get here. I knew exactly what Dimitri meant now, why he went to church every sunday to make peace with him self. The plane touched down and Cam came out for our plan and details.

"Ok, here is the plan. We need to look in her dorm and find any indication of her plans, there were no struggle signs except for a tiny puddle of blood, apparently she had cut herself in the playground beforehand though. Those of you who don't know the grounds, pair up with someone who does. Ask questions. Go for her classmates and the other guardians. Lucian, Dimitri and I will check out her room and speak to the headmistress" they all nodded and headed out the plane, fixing our tough faces and dangerous walk on, the swarm of novices parting like the red sea. I walked between Lucian and Dimitri, just reaching their shoulders, I looked they all stared anyway, the Hathaway legend, the girl who escaped from the school three times, shared a bond with the Queen and had killed countless strigoi before she even turned 18. Now walking through their school with two Russian gods flanking her. It was pretty impressive.

We found her dorm where she shared a room with another Royal, a Dashkov. Her side was simple, dark red bed coverings showed her differences to Lissa. Dimitri stood at the door, watching for anyone that didn't look like they were meant to be there. There were pictures of Lissa and Christian with Christine on wall and one of me holding her on my lap with both of our icecreams. I smiled and kept looking, a tear in he duvet making me look closer. I studied it and found that it was roughly torn, like someone had stabbed into it.. the tear looked like it could have been made with a stake. I lifted the blanket and it was heavy. Too heavy. I put my hand into the tear and my hjand closed around the cool stake that lay hidden in it. Christine had been attacked. A singe mark on the door frame, a stake stabbed into her bed. She was taken by a guardian. I stood up straight and faced Lucian and Dimitri. Dimitri was studying me, worry evident in his eyes, Lucian was reading a little book he found. I raised my eyebrows at him, still unable to raise just one. Dimitri chuckled and I knew he had noticed my failed attempt. He raised one eyebrow at me as if to mock me and stepped closer to Lucian to read too. It was Christine's diary. Her untidy 6 year old writing was all over the place but it was still cute. The first bit made me laugh but then one sentence made me look at the singe marks again.

_I can make fire just like daddy. Lilah was mean and put it out at the playground. _

Christine had specialized early. She was a fire user. I looked at the singe marks closer and saw they were around Christine's height. I took off out the door and was pounding on Kiorva's door within 5 minutes. Dimitri and Lucian weren't far behind and looked at me with curiousity. They didn't make the link I had. Kiorva looked at me, disproval clear. Looks like she thought my pounding and running was against school rules. Tough. I let myself in and she sat down, looking at me the same way she always did.

"When did Christine specialize?" she looked at me as if I had gone mental. Maybe I had. Dimitri just stared straight ahead and Lucian smiled knowingly. I glared for all I was worth and she re-thought her disbelieving approach.

"Guardian Hathaway, you know as well as I do that moroi children don't normally specialize until they are at least 10 years old. However, I have a feeling that Guardian Lockheart had to put out a fire yesterday in the playground." I nodded and started pacing, thinking about the complications of it all.

"What was Guardian Lockheart's first name? And I need the files of all the guardians that are at the academy. I need them now." she sighed and handed me a key for the files and veiwed me over her clasped hands.

"Guardian Lockheart's first name is Lilah. She isn't here right now. She was taken at the same time as the princess." This confirmed most of my suspicions. I nodded again and went to the file room for the first time in years. The last time I did I went to read the records of Christian. I got caught by Dimitri for that, my awesome ninja skills were over powered by his russian godness. I looked through the Guardians one and found Lilahs. My heart stopped and I saw the papers fall from my hands rather than felt them. She was one of Victors old guardians, coming to work here the year that Christine started. I let the room at a sprint and ran to the guardian buildings, Wes and Alberta were nearby and joined us, busting through the door to the very surprised warden.

"I need to know Guardian Lockhearts room number NOW!" I looked terrifying and my voice sounded cold and menacing. She looked horrified, taking in my eyes, my eyes that I knew could turn to stone and make me as dangerous as the strigoi I killed. She took in all of us, jumping when the door slammed open again and Daniel and Cam exploded in, stakes drawn. She looked at me, face pale.

"Room 32. Go. Take the key and find the princess. " She looked at us as if we were strigoi but it didn't register for me to care. We got to the room and opened it, expecting the worst. There was more blood, in the corner of the room, like someone had cowered there for a while,slowly bleeding. A warped piece if plaster caught my eye and I picked it up. It looked strangely familiar. Then it all came rushing back. Spokane. Christian had melted off my wrist cuffs and they had ended up like this. Christine was more like her dad than I thought. `Eddie came running in then, blood covering one side of his face. Cam took the window, Alberta shut the doors and they all stood guard as I checked him out.

"Alex and I were on perimeter, finding entry points. They came out of nowhere. Strigoi. Alex is unconcious, at the edge of the trees. They can't get him. I ran here as fast as I could. They are by an old run down cabin." he managed to gasp out details and I left Alberta and Wes to look after him. The rest of switched into battle mode, going down the stairs 4 at a time using walls to turn. The warden was at the hallway, watching anxiously but moving out the way very fast when she saw us. Streaking out the door we only slowed down when we reached the trees. I saw Alex, feebly crawling with one hand, the other clamped over his neck. He had been bitten. Daniel and Cam hesitated, looking to me for direction. I nodded and they helped him up, moving swiftly towards the main buildings. Dimitri was looking at the cabin, remembering. I looked at it too, pain making me want to scream at the whole world. I picked up some of my old bravado and tried to lighten the mood a bit before we hit the strigoi world like a ton of bricks.

"Aw, c'mon Comrade, think of me naked in your own time." I grinned and knew I had hit the mark. He smiled sadly and we started to stalk into the trees, full stealth mode. I heard a twig snap and motioned for them to stop. They looked confused but obeyed regardless. Slight nausea was growing in the pit of my stomach. I knew the strigoi were close by. I raised three fingers to my eyebrow and pointed to the left of a falled log. Lucian nodded. He knew what it meant. We closed in around a gap in the trees, fresh bark scraped off, the damp leaf litter scattered, revealing the soil underneath. There had been a fight here. I felt the nausea growing and whirled around to face the strigoi. He was a moroi before being awakened but he wasn't alone. A couple of guardians and strigoi began sauntering forwards. I snarled and was about to leap when a felt a sting and then nothing. I was blissfully off into nothingness.

I awoke alone in a luxuriously furnished room, the windows blacked out and the door heavily bolted. I was on a couch that was bigger than my bed at home. I leapt up, checking every inch of the room, every single stinking item was Rose-proof. I threw the table over, shattering the vase and sending the red roses smashing against the wall. It felt good to finally be able to let go so I kept on going, my frustration fueling my rage. Eventually I was left with just the couch, bits of books and chair were all over the floor and it was oddly silent now I was quiet, my throat sore from my ferocious battle cry. I was considering the best way to take that down when the bolts on the door grated against eachother, alerting me to someones prescence. I got ready to slip out the door but the nausous feeling grew and I knelt, feeling the edges of my boots. My daggers were still there. I straightened, facing the young strigoi, coming towards me like I was a wild animal. I let him grab my arm and lead me out, noting every twist in the corridoors. Rule number 7 – always know your way out.

He led me to another room, made for the very rich. Lucian and Dimitri were already there, knocked out on the floor. I snarled and struggled to get to them. Straining against the guy who held me in an iron lock. Victor strode into view, hands clasped in front of him, studying my futile attempts.

"if you hurt either of them OR Christine, old man, there WILL be hell to pay." he chuckled and circled me again, I continued wriggling until Victor told my undead jailor to let me go. I tried to get closer to Lucian but I was blocked, so I sighed in frustration, hoping to find an opening and not too much damage.

"why do you care Rose? Dimitri left you for six years and Lucian doesn't love you back, why go to them?" he was trying to manipulate me and I knew it wasn't going to work. Lucian did love me.

"wrong. I go to them because I love them, like I love Lissa and Christine. Where is she? And if you have harmed her, i will make you pay with your life." I growled at him, letting my full glare hit him, he simply looked amused.

"How touching. And yet, I remain unmoved" Victors cold strigoi voice made me cringe in digust. My eyes conveyed what I was feeling perfectly 'go Jump off a cliff'. He chuckled at my glare. I replied as sarcastically as I possibly could, a new record on my bad ass scale

"I have a sneaking suspicion that might have something to do with you being a heartless bastard and your inability to think like a rational person" his eyes grew wide with very fake astonishment. I resisted the urge to punch him and focused on something else, like the unconcious forms of Lucian and Dimitri, laying behind Victor. I guess my improved vocabulary and self control suprised everyone these days

"as much as I hate to dissapoint you Rose, my heart still beats and I think as rationally as you do. How else would I manage to get the legendary Guardian Rosemary Hathaway unprotected?" I guess he didn't know about the daggers hidden in my boots, just waiting for me to pull them out. But I couldn't, not yet, not while Lucian and dimitri were out cold. I needed both of them to be on the top of their game

"You flatter me. But it's going to take a lot more than a little bit of sweet talk to soften me up, in case you haven't noticed I'm not exactly your most obliging hostage." I was of course referring to the entirely trashed room they had put me in. I think if I had another 15 minutes or so and I could have dismantled the couch too. He chuckled, the sound still managing to give me the chills. I snarled at the young strigoi that was inspecting the others.

"No my child. Leave them be." she smiled sweetly at me, fangs fully exposed and melted into the shadows. The nausea became bearable and I knew she had left the room. " so what happened dear ROse? You and Dimitri were so close and now I see two men lying at my mercy, both totally smitten by you. I hoped my killing Tasha would have given you your Dimka back. Who is the younger one I wonder?" he glided over to their prone forms, nose tracing the veins on Lucians wrists. I growled, itching to pull out my dagger and sink it into his black heart. Victor had killed Tasha for himself, not me. I bit back my recklessness and glared even more.

" touch either of them and i will personally make sure it's the last thing you ever do." my words were strained, my control slipping. He pulled then both into sitting positions and clapped, four more strigoi stepped out of the shadows and stood around me, each grabbing my arm and pulling me towards the door. I stared at Lucian, watching as his eyelids fluttered a little. I had to get him awake. I struggled, ramming my elbow into the closest ones face and dragging nails accross his cheek. He let go, clutching his eye where I had gotten him. The others tightened their grip on my arms and I winced internally, I kept fighting them but they didn't really fight back, they weren't allowed to hurt me. I kicked out, having the satisfaction of seeing one crumple. I managed to free my hands and clapped them over the ears of the closest strigoi, he collapsed, howling in agony, his enhanced hearing making it that much more painful. Then I realised what was happening, Victor was trying to figure out my fighting style. I stopped and fell back, allowing myself to hit the floor. I slowed my breathing and pretended to be unconcious.. It worked until I felt warm breath on my face. It was a familiar scent, honey and cinnamin, Lucian. I squinted into his worried green eyes, they crinkled in relief and he slipped the mask back on, winking slyly.

"she's knocked out. What the he'll did you do to her?" lucians outrage was real, he hated them as much as I did. I heard a gasp and a thud next to me. Then footsteps going away, getting closer to Dimitri.

" take those two back to the destroyed room. Make sure he never wakes up and leave him with her. We need to destroy her from the inside out. I'll take care of dear Dimitri." I wanted to leap up but I needed to be moved out into the corridoor so Victor couldn't reach me. I felt myself being lifted and carried, the steps long and swift. I was about to act when I felt eyes on me. I stayed still, limp in their arms. They huffed and kept walking.

"what do you think Victor is going to do to the other one?" the voice reverberated under my ear, rumbling like thunder. My carrier had spoken the very question I desperately needed answering. The other grunted in response. It was frustrating to say the least, I wanted answers and I wanted them now. I was laid gently down on the still intact couch, my hair smoothed back off my face.

"we need to kill the spare. Stop staring at her and help me, I don't care about your fascination, maybe master will let you have her once he awakens her, right now you need to help me" it was the other strigoi, a female. They were going to kill Lucian because of me. I moved slightly, stretching my fingers down to my boots. They stopped talking and I felt the unspoken agreement. There was a moan of pain and then bliss, they fed from Lucian, probably getting him to the brink of death. I leapt up and ripped one of them off, plowing into the other. His suprise made it easy, i sent him and the other one out the door which I slammed. I wasn't leaving without Dimitri and Christine OR Lucian. I fell to my knees next to him, moving his hair off his forehead. He was very weak from loss of blood. My split lip stung and I could taste blood, crouching over Lucian, I shook his shoulders slightly, watching his eyes flicker and fade. They focused on me again and I inspected the bites, they were pretty bad. I heard him chuckle as he rested a hand on my lap, tracing circles.

"Roza, don't look so worried. I'm okay, it's just a little blood." even his voice sounded weak. I smiled, laying him back on the couch and pushing it through the debris to the far side of the room. "you're beautiful Roza. Did you know that? You're beautiful and I love you" his voice was getting quieter and quieter so I just sat next to him, watching his skin get paler. He was just slipping further away. Tears started running down my face and he tried to wipe it away but couldn't quite reach.

" I love you too Luc.. I love you too. But you're not allowed to leave me, you promised." he smiled and held my hand in his, once again making me feel tiny. He looked thoughtful for a moment before a cheeky gleam lit his dimming eyes.

" you really love me? Kiss me." the way he said it told me he knew, knew that he was going to leave me, go where he could never come back. I leaned forward, my tears falling on his cheeks, his lips. I closed my eyes and pressed my lips to his, fire exploding with in me. He kissed me back, perfectly synchronized, ending it with a sweet love filled peck. I saw my blood on his lips, shining ruby from my split lip. He ran his tongue along his lip to get rid of it, still staring at me, tears beginning to fill his own eyes. I realised then that I loved Luc more than I had ever loved Dimitri, that now I was losing my best friend as well as my heart. Dimitri never let me close enough to get to know him properly, I knew everything about Luc. I lifted Luc's head and sat down, putting his head in my lap. I continued stroking his hair, staring into his eyes. My tears mixed with blood dripping down faster than I could wipe them away. All too soon, his grip on my hand loosened, his unsteady breathing stopped and his eyes grew cold and distant. Sobs racked my body and I curled up into his side, my Luc was dead. I kept on crying until exhuastion made me fall asleep. I felt myself drifting and I opened my eyes, resisting the urge to scream. I was looking at me, curled up asleep under Lucians arm. His pale body made me want to hurl. I looked down at my hands, they were smoky and indistinct.

"Rose." I turned and really did scream this time. Dimitri stood next to the door, except he was the same as me. A spirit. Was I dead? Ghost Dimitri shook his head, looking sad. " no Roza. You walk the line between life and death. You're in the spirit world, where all our souls go." I was confused. Then why was he here? It all fell into place as soon as I thought the question. This is where the souls go, strigoi were soulless monsters. Dimitri had been awakened. Spirit Dimitri nodded and turned to the door, walking towards it. I followed, hesitating to look back at me and Luc. New tears fell and Dimitri strode back, wiping them away.

"Why am I in the spirit world? " he nodded towards the other me.

"did Lucian get any of your blood or tears in his cuts or mouth?" what would that have a anything to do with it. It had, my split lip and tears that I couldn't control. I nodded numbly, watching me frown in my sleep. "Well, it means he has a piece of you with him, a piece that still hangs on to life, to you." I looked at him indcredulously. I had seen him die, the light had gone from his beautiful green eyes. I shook my head vigourously, it wasn't true.

"No. He's gone, like everyone else. You left me, Adrian left me and now Lucian has. I'm like poison. Every one I care about are killed off, just like Mason." I continued to stare hopelessly at Dimitri. How could I ever recover from this? He stepped forward and looked directly in my eyes,

"I love you Roza, I never stopped, but Lucian and you different. You are here for a reason. You have to bring Lucian's spirit back before you wake. You have very little time. Oh, and promise you'll kill me, tell my family I died in battle, but make sure I can't hurt anyone. Remember, you have to get Lucian's soul back into his body," Dimitri began to fade, I still didn't know what to do, I cried out, reaching for him, his face remained now. He saw my unspoken question. "I am so proud of you my Roza. You need to claim Lucian as your own. I don't know how but just listen to your heart. If you ever need me, just call, I will never leave your side. That is a promise I can keep. Remember, he is yours to take." Dimitri completely faded, leaving me alone in a the dim room. I looked around in a panic and for the first time noticed a tiny beacon of light in Lucian's chest, glimmering dimly, his precarious hold onto life, one that I had to race to save him and myself.


	6. Awakening

I had a snap decision to make, search for Lucians spirit and claim him or go and enter the heatbreak that was seeing strigoi dimitri. Or do both! I grimly stared at the door. Where the hell do you find a spirit? I tried calling out but nothing happened, sighing in frustration and walked towards the door, wondering if I could walk through. You gotta put some stock in the movies. As it happened, I could walk through the door, and the person standing guard. I kept brainstorming, maybe if... I thought back, remembering every single detail from when Lucian and I got snowed into a hotel.

Flashback

" ugh, snowed in." I threw myself back onto the queen bed, flinging my arm over my eyes in mock horror. Lucian chuckled and plopped down next to me, crossing his legs. How could people so tall fold themselves up so neatly and gracefully? He looked with distaste at the white window and lay back, shutting his eyes with a sigh.

" Sleep Roza, your glare may make people quake with fear but it will have nothing against the ice queen herself." he fell asleep quickly, his entire face relaxing and his breath getting slower. I was cold and frustrated, this wasn't a sleeping matter! I considered waking him up but he didn't get any sleep last night either. I wiggled up to the pillows and tried to sleep, occasionally glancing at him. How could he fall asleep so quickly? I shivered and shut my eyes, this time feeling my mind wandering into sleep. When I woke, I was warm, warmer than I would ever be in my bed. I didn't want to open my eyes, it felt so safe and better in bed. A draft on my head made my eyes fly open in shock. Lips? Oh. I was facing Lucian, crammed against his body, his lips just in front of my eyes. His leg was hooked over my hip, pinning me down. That would explain the warmth. His arm around my waist was comforting and I inhaled his honey and cinnamin scent. It smelt like home. He shifted, looking down at me, embarrassment colouring his cheeks.

"Oh, I'm sorry Roza.. I move a lot in my sleep, god, I didn't crush you did I?" He was so worried, it made me laugh, he only got redder. I sat up and gave him a swift peck on the cheek, laughing at his stunned expression. Then he laughed with me, chucking the pillow at me which I deftly dodged. I grabbed it, launching it at his face where it hit it's target. I loved his laugh.

End of Flashback

I felt a warm rush and I knew it had worked. I opened my eyes and the shadowy image of Lucian was smiling at me, holding hands with a tall willowy woman with flaming red hair. It was Selene, it had to be. I remembered the time he told me about her. She was a moroi, the woman he fell in love with in his academy. He was set up to be her guardian until she was murdered by strigoi, the same strigoi that were his first kills.

Flashback.

I stared at the sky, watching the clouds go past. Why couldn't I be like the clouds? They were happy, they had nothing to worry about. Lucian was next to me, my hair fanned out across the ground while he tried to decide what colour it was.

"Roza, did I ever tell you why my first three kills were made before I was promised?" His voice had turned sad, as it always did when he talked about his first kills. I shook my head and turned over, looking at him curiously. He had made life more bearable now Dimitri was gone, he kept me as sane as I could possibly get.

"Well, back at my academy, I fell for a moroi. She wasn't moroi but she was like a princess to me. She had flaming red hair, the sort that made the sun pale and the sunset seem like a black and white movie. She was so beautiful. We were best friends until a couple of months before graduation, we were together as usual but something changed, something big. It was like I really saw her for the first time. I kissed her, fully expecting her to freak out at me, but she didn't. She kissed me back and.. well.. let's just say I didn't expect my first time to be in a school dorm room." He chuckled with embarrassment, not meeting my eyes. I laughed too, I didn't expect my first time to be in an abandoned cabin with my mentor that was 7 years older than me, so I guess I couldn't judge. "She was going to go shopping at a mall and as field work started I was to go with her. It was fine until we left. Strigoi attacked and she was killed, she screamed my name as they dragged her down and drank from her. I killed them with my stake and she died in my arms, I couldn't save her." Tears started to form in his eyes and I hugged him tightly. He had lost his first love just like I had. I understood.

End of Flashback

I had to admit, she was beautiful. I just stood and stared, they were happy, already fading. I stepped towards him. Lucian, who I loved so much.

"Lucian, I can get you back, I can get you back to your body, you can live! You can stay with me." I knew, even as I said those words that he wouldn't come. The love in his eyes and the way he stroked Selene's hand with his thumb proved to me that he wouldn't leave her now he found her again. She looked at me with eyes the same blue as a the summer sky, smiling. I couldn't take him away, she had waited this long to be reunited.

e"I'm sorry Roza, Selene is my everything, I love you, but I realise that it's the same way as you love me. You deny it but he has always been with you, holding the majoriy of your heart. I only fixed it, like you fixed mine. Even I couldn't fight the hold he has over you, or the hold my love for Selene has over me. I was your moon, I lit up the dark but he's your sun. I can't compete with that. But in a way, this is better, I am back home." He gazed lovingly at her and she winked at him. I nodded. I had no one now. Dimitri was strigoi and I was alone with a dead body. I couldn't take him away now, even as the sinking feeling took over, I knew he was right. If I thought hard enough, it was easy enough to replace thoughts of Dimitri with Lucian, they looked alike enough. Lucian was my best friend, that was something I could work on with Dimitri, you know, if he was still dhampir. I sighed.

"I know Luc, i'm glad you found peace. I just don't know what I am going to do with myself now I have no one." Lucian looked confused. Then it dawned on him, looking past me. I turned, seeing Dimitri, leaning his 6 ft 6 frame against the wall, watching me. Even as a spirit he was looking out for me. I knew what I had to do. I leapt and hugged Lucian and smiled at Selene before running towards Dimitri. He stood up and glanced around before letting his guard down.

"What's the matter Roza?" he was anxious so I quickly smiled. I couldn't let him know the entire plan. I saw the real Dimitri, strigoi Dimitri, walk into the room I was sleeping in, wrapped in Lucians cold embrace. The very thought made me shudder.

"Look, Dimitri, I know what I am going to do, but you need to be with me at all times. I can't go into details now." he nodded and followed as I took off down the corridoor and leapt through the door, seeing Strigoi Dimitri watching me sleep. I was tossing and turning, just like the turmoil in my mind. "Ok, just go with it." he nodded again, pride and love in his eyes. I concentrated on my body, trying to get into it. Then I felt a rush and my eyes opened. I was still pressed against Lucian, his skin cold and hard, it made me feel sick to stomach. I spun away, seeing Dimitri the ghost and Dimitri the Strigoi standing side by side. I stood, smiling my best man eater smile at Dimitri. He flinched but continued to stare. I was afraid of him but I knew what I had to do.

"Hey Comrade, what's happening?" I used a light friendly voice. He had massive shadows under his eyes, he hadn't fed yet, he was still fresh, not yet made his first kill. I smiled inwardly, this would make my job a whole lot easier. I sauntered closer. "What's the matter comrade? Don't you want me anymore?" His cold strigoi eyes glinted and I knew he wanted me in a different way, I was counting on it. He inclined his head, cold and calculating. The spirit Dimitri was staring at me in horror, I was flirting with death, again. I stepped closer, flicking my hair over my shoulder. I knew the scent alone would drive him made, the exposed neck would just further the insanity. I called out with my mind to the ghosts, they came, filling the room, still invisible to Dimitri. I knew it was dangerous, but I had to try.

"What made you change your mind Roza? You claimed you loved the weakling Lucian this morning, now you want me instead?" His voice mocked me, made me feel rediculous. I almost decided to quit, but I couldn't lose him. Not again. I stepped forward, noticing the hunger in his eyes. I braced myself, cocking my head to the side as if to look at him properly but in reality, exposing my neck even more. He took an involuntary step closer and I smiled seductively, keeping all my resolve as he got even closer. I dropped my voice to a whisper.

"Well, comrade... It might have been my dream about the cabin all those years ago, the need I felt to be held like that again, something I havent felt since. The heat, the pleasure." I could see his control go and he was infront of me, hands like vices on my shoulder. I grimaced and held my breath as his teeth sunk into my shoulder, as the first suck of blood sent that piece of me into him, the piece that I so desperately needed him to have. I looked at all the ghosts before me and Dimitri last, he realised what I was doing. He couldn't stop me. I muttered out before, the bliss took me, the words that they needed to hear.

"I love you Dimitri, always have, always will. You are part of me, you complete me and now the whole world knows why. I love you and I need you, just like you needed me when we spent the night together at the academy." The high from the bite sent me into lala land, just as I saw Dimitri smile and walk towards me, glowing. The spirits nodded, disapearing one by one. Lucian and Selene, holding hands faded gradually. They had moved on. I closed my eyes and I only just felt the fangs disapear, replaced with warm lips and frantic hands.


	7. Consequences

Rose POV:

I shook my head slightly, freezing when I heard someone with me. Had my plan worked or was I dead? I could have imagined the hands, the frantic voice trying to call me back. I opened my eyes and was once again, face to face with lips. Ironic... I sat up, noticing the trail of dried blood down my shoulder. Great... I guess that was to be expected with a strigoi bite. I turned around, my eyes instantly meeting Dimitris. They were rich brown, warm and inviting, lacking the red rim that had almost shaken my resolve. I did it. I launched myself forwards, wrapping my arms around his neck and crushing myself to him. I laughed in relief but it instantly turned to sobs. He was bewildered, stroking my back and rocking me, murmering into my ear.

"It's ok Roza, I won't hurt you again. You... you saved me." his voice was low and strained, trying to hold back his emotions. A tear fell on my forhead so I looked up, Dimitri had a tear clinging to his eyelashes, his eyes alive with his emotion, a smile threatening to take over. I laughed again wiping the tears away and looking at Lucians body. My smile dropped away, I had lost my best friend, he was gone. "Roza... why did you save me instead of Lucian? You told me you loved him, not me." his voice still held the hurt from this morning and I knew it had cut him deeply just as his words 'it's a mistake' pained me. I knelt infront of Dimitri and placed my hands on either side of his face, forcing him to look at me.

"Because, I realised that the whole time I had been with Lucian was a distraction. I was trying to distract myself from the pain you put me in, from the loneliness that always threatened to take over me. I realised that it had always been you. When I saw Lucian and Selene, how she had waited for him before moving on, that they were soulmates, just like you and me. I love you Dimitri and I can't lose you again." tears were threatening to spill again but I blinked them back, knowing I needed to stop crying. Dimitri stared at me, hope, pain and love clouding his expression. His hair had escaped it's ponytail and swung forwards, silky and gorgeous. I couldn't resist running my hand through it atleast once. Dimitri leaned forwards so his cheek rested in my palm, his eyes making me melt. His gaze was intense, full of all the love that we both had been holding back and resisting.

"Roza... I love you too, I learnt the hard way that distraction doesn't work, not when you were all I could think about, every minute of every day. Even when my eyes were closed it was like you were imprinted on my eyelids, burning into my heart the anguish that I left with, the guilt that chewed through my concious. I had lied to you, I had hurt you and I had betrayed you and my heart. I'm sorry, you saved me from myself after Ivan and you made me feel alive again, you saved me at the attacks, you saved me from losing my soul now and I all I have given you in return is hurt. I don't deserve you yet I'm selfish enough to keep you to myself." Tears ran slowly down his cheeks in earnest now, Dimitri was crying. I knew he would tear himself apart dwelling on all he did wrong and I wouldnt watch him do it. I raised his face again and made him look into my eyes, to see that I wasn't lying.

"There is nothing to forgive Comrade. I would do it all again in a heartbeat, for you." I couldn't think of anything else to say that would mean the same as one action, so I leant closer, my nose touching his, watching his eyes darken with want. Then I shut my eyes and brought my lips to his, feeling the electricity zapping to life and the burning need. He snaked his arms around my waist and pulled me closer, breaking away for air but continuing to kiss down my un-injured shoulder and back up to my ear.

"Roza... My Roza..." He said my name like a prayer, fervent, as if it was a life line. I smiled and kissed his earlobe, making him turn back to me. I sat back into his lap and rested my head under his chin, reveling in the feeling of his arms around me again.

"We need to escape. But, I'm not leaving Luc behind. And as much as I would like to stay here and continue our reunion but we need to find Christine, get Luc out of here and get back to court. Did you find anything out?" Dimitri stroked my hair and thought. I couldnt help but run my fingers through his again.

"I saw Christine, she's not hurt. I left the door unlocked when I came in here, i'm pretty sure the guard isnt back yet, he was certain I could take you down if you tried to escape. Plus he saw me when I was... feeding... from you." he looked incredibly guilty so I held his hand tightly and smiled at him.

"Incase you weren't listening, I basically told you to do it. And it worked, so, tough." He smiled back and we stood up, taking in our surroundings. I don't think Dimitri had seen the true extent of my more destructive episode. It really was bad. Yet the couch remained intact. He looked at me incredulously, humour hidden in his eyes. I shook my head with a grim smile. "Don't mess with Rose Hathaway." He smiled, letting the tension ease away a little.

"She's badass and hell hath no fury like an avenging angel. My angel." I smiled seductivly at him as I leant down and checked my boots. Daggers still there, check. My arm braces had been removed but my vest remained. At least I had that. I straightened up, having the satisfaction of seeing his eyes snap from other places to my face. I rolled my eyes at him. Men... switching from relaxed to serious, I kneeled by the couch and motioned for Dimitri to come over.

"Ok, since you were only in the team for a while, you don't know the signals. Three fingers to the eyebrow and pointing in a direction shows where the direction the target is and where we need to go. You remember that from at the academy?" he nodded and I continued, they weren't too hard to remember. " Good, now when we need to run for an exit, and I don't care what the hell is happening to me or anyone, you run because your life depends upon it. The signal for that is "Mario". It sounds like a name but the minute you hear it, dispatch who you are fightig and leg it." he nodded again. Those were the two most important that he needed to know, when we got back to court, he could be taught the rest. We both crept towards the door, complete ninja stealth mode. I lay down on the ground, much to Dimitri's amusement and peered out under the crack of the door. I couldn't see any feet so pulled my dagger out my boot and slid it under the door, using it as a mirror to see. "All clear." I leapt back up and we met eyes once more, knowing that we were in the heart of trouble.

I opened the door, the empty corridoor strangely forboding. We quickly ran back in and held Lucian between us, staying as silent as possible. I felt normal, not even a trace of nauseae, but I couldn't rely on that all the time. I remembered the way to where Victor took us and I knew there was a window we could use, even if it was just to guage how high we were. As we silently hurtled down the eerily empty hall ways I noticed that every room we went past was completely empty. I stopped abruptly, making Dimitri whirl into a fighting stance.

"Dimitri, sniff, what can you smell?" he looked at me as if I had gone insane for a moment before I saw his nostrils flare as he tried to smell what I could. His eyes snapped to mine, understanding flowing through us.

"I smell gas, smoke and petrol." I nodded, that was exactly what I smelt. They were burning the mansion down, with us in it. A high pitch scream made my blood chill and I knew that it was Christine.

"Dimitri! Run, find her. I will wait here for you, I promise. Run and stay safe!" He took off down the hall at a sprint, tearing around the corner out of sight. I paced and watched the hall where he disappeared to. I heard the crackling and snapping before I saw it, the flames consuming everything. I picked Luc up fireman styles and dragged him further away from them. A loud poundind made me turn, Dimitri was running full speed towards me, Christine in his arms and a snarling creature hot on his heels.

"Roza! Leave Luc, run. MARIO!" I looked longingly at Luc and whispered a goodbye before taking off down the hall and basically flying down a flight of stairs. The window told me we where on the second floor. I kept on running, hearing Dimitri and the thing still with me. I stopped and let Dimitri pass, turning to the horrid thing chasing us. It had previously been a strigoi but it looks like they had starved it of blood, turning it more animalistic, wild with thirst. It didn't even think, throwing itself at me. I dragged my dagger across it's face, hearing it howl in pain, an easy opening to it's chest. It fell to the floor and I turned and fled. Dimitri and Christine nowhere in sight. I kept running down the stairs but it was too slow so I launched myself onto the railing, feeling like a little kid. I sped past a burning ceiling, collapsing in on the room and struggled to see them through the thickening smoke. Suddenly, they were right infront of me. We where on the bottom floor, the sun just peaking over the horizon. Dimitri was panting, still cradling Christine. I ran to the neareste window, delivering a power kick and shattering the glass. Fresh air poured in and I climbed out the frame, taking Christine from Dimitri so he could fit his tall frame through. We were finally out.

Struggling to a road, we flagged down a car, an elderly couple. I pulled out my best 'in-shock' expression and asked if we could borrow a phone, they handed one over, fussing over Christine while I called my team to pick us up from the abandoned mansion not too far from the academy, one that had been a hidaway when Lissa and I had run away. I turned back to Dimitri, resting my head against his chest and watching as the least of the supports gave way and the whole mansion came down. He wrapped his arms around me and rocked me slowly.

"Here little one, go give mummy and dadedy these." Christine was smart enough to go with it and bring us the blankets the old woman handed here.

"Are you hurt Chrissy?" I sat her down on my knee as I lay back against the back seat of the car. It smelt musty and old but a whole lot safer than the house. She nodded and snuggled down under the blankete. The elderly couple, Annette and Morris wouldn't leave us until our friends arrived, they looked fondly at Chrissy and I, Morris turned to Dimitri and smiled happily.

"Your very lucky sir, gorgeous wife and daughter unharmed. Nette and I lost our first child in a house fire, broke her poor hearte. But you gave 'er hope." He patted Dimitri in the shoulder and started talking to Annette. Dimitri leant over to me and kissed my cheek, smiling sadly. His eyes said it all. Not all our family got out, not this time. The red mercedes crested the hill and I reecognized Daniels halo of golden hair in the front seat.

"C'mon Chrissy, we're going home." We thanked Annette and Morris and faced the now speeding red car. I held Dimitri's hand knowing it would have to get home soon. The guilt of Lucian crashed down on me but I knew it would get better soon, any lower and I'd hit rock bottom. Dimitri squeezed back and smiled, lighting up the area around us. I hope you found peace Luc, I love you. As we stepped into the car and the onslaught of questions, my blood ran cold. Tasha Ozera was standing in the line of trees, a look of pure hate on her once beautiful features. Great, now I had to deal with a murderous ghost too...


	8. Life's Not Fair

The trip back wasn't easy, the car remained silent, Christine fast asleeep on my lap, the silence heavy. Cam and Daniel were in shock. We had never lost a member, it couldn't happen to us. I saw Dimitri glancing at me in what he hoped was a sneaky fashion. I tried to raise one eyebrow but I knew it just didn't happen for me, like usual. His lips twitched slightly, quirking upwards like he wanted to smile. I thought back to when he did that at the academy, the days where he might let Roza slip out, maybe even a stolen kiss. What would change now?

"We're almost at the jet now Rose. Can you wake Christine so she can tell the head mistress what happened?" Daniel's voice broke the sombre silence. The silence was uncomfortable and I was glad he had broken it, snapping out of my reverie. Daniel and Cam, they were inseperable, best friends all through the academy. I nodded, Daniel's blue eyes trained on me in the review mirror. He was like a big brother to me, always keeping an eye out. The red ferrari was his baby, his one love in life. I thought it was pathetic, but what does a girl know about men and their toys. He pulled into the academy and I gently shook Christine's shoulder, watching her eye elids flutter before opening them, peering around.

"Hey Chrissy. We have to go and speak to the old bird about what happened, can you do that for me?" I spoke in a voice I reserved for her, soft and gentle, much like the soothing tone I used when Lissa panicked. She smiled angelically at me and nodded, blonde hair bouncing. She put her skinny arms around my neck and I lifted her up, climbing out the care to face the academy. I eyed the window to my old room, remembering all the times I had climbed down to escape from it. Christine waved shyly at two moroi girls around her age that were gawking at us as I strode through the grounds, my clothes singed, bloodied and torn. Daniel and Cam headed towards the clinic to get the others prepared for departure and Dimitri ghosted me, looking like a russian god more than ever, his hair still loose.

We had to pass through the dhamphir commons and I spotted two tall moroi boys pinning someone to a wall. I handed Christine to Dimitri, ignoring his warning glance. I put my tough face on, drawing up to full miserable height and strode over, parting students like the red sea. I stopped just behind them and cleared my throat, watching with satisfaction as they whirled around. They took in my expression and then my appearance, visibly swallowing and fear crossing their face. The person they had been intimidating was a girl dhampir with flaming red hair. She glared stonily at them and I felt proud before turning on them.

"And what exactly were you doing?" If looks could kill... the smaller one lookede afraid, maybe he recognised me, but the other was arrogant and stared me down, obviously holding the "dhampirs are dirt" frame of mind. I resisted the urge to hit him.

"What does it matter you _Guardian? _We can do what we want." he sneered at me and I heard the other guy moan slightly, knowing his friends mistake. Anger flared up again and he took a step back,.

"me? It matters to me because one day you might have to rely on her or even _me_ to keep you alive? Got it? You can't do what you want just because you're a moroi? Wanna know why?" I made sure that my voice was icy cold and dangerous, making the red head smirk. They paled but he bravely continued. Yep, definitely didn't recognize me. His head jerked down in a shaky yet defiant nod and I looked frostily down at them, yes, they were shorter than even me.

"Because I'm Guardian Rose Hathaway and I said so." it was widely known the I was too be respected as I controlled who got assigned to who, a power that Lissa gave me. The girl looked shocked before awe crossed her features. Both boys took off, running towards their own dorms. I smiled at red head before going back to Dimitri, my ponytail giving red head a veiw of my heavily addorned neck. Dimitri chuckled and handed back Christine who was smiling serenly as if she knew all the secrets of the world. I frowned at her before sneaking a glance at my russian god again.

"Auntie Rosie... are you and Uncle Dimky gonna get married?" I stopped walked and looked down at her flabberghasted. What? I glared accusingly at the 'uncle' in question, seeing his small smirk and the humour deep in his eyes. He must have said something to her. I smiled uncertainly at her and shook my head.

"Not that I know of angel. Remember what I told you? Boys are...?" she grinned while Dimitri stared at me quizically. I grinned reluctantly at his expression, not wanting to give away the serious attitude. She giggled and frowned playfully, trying to imitate the face I used when I told her, pointing her finger at me.

"Boys are bad. They pwomise you the world and then screw you over." she sounded so cute, her innocence meaning she didn't get the double edged meaning to the word 'screw' and never would. It wouldn't last. Dimitri looked shocked and shook his head, 'only Rose...' clear on his face. I laughed, the awkward moment passed and we continued to the old birds office, taking about 10 minutes to breifly tell her what had passed. She dismissed us and I carried the now sleeping Christine to the jet, her bag already packed by Alberta. The team was assembled outside the plane: Daniel, Cam, Wes, Alberta, Alex, Eddie. No Lucian. My heart sank with their expressions. It was official. You fall behind, you get left behind. Lucian had fallen.

We all boarded the plane and Alex took over taking care of Christine while I went into the specially adapted shower area and rested my head against the cool tiles. Lucian was the second best fighter in the team, he was my wingman. We would need to adapt our strategies... or teach Dimitri the place of Lucian. It felt so wrong, replacing him with another. I sighed and looked at myself in the mirror. My hair was in desperate need of attention, my face was dirty and bloody, even sooty. My clothes wer ripped and gross. Basically how I felt. I sighed again and flicked the lock, turning the shower on and starting to peel my ruined clothes off, throwing away my blouse and 'jeans' that probably now went from a possibly 'artfully ripped' to a 'put through a blender'. My leather vest was still fine so that stayed. Lucian's stake, a gift from me with the russian words "stay strong" engraved on it's base fell from the pocket that I didn't know I had. I almost broke down but stashed it with mine before stepping under the jet of hot water, feeling all my muscles just unclench and relax.

After a good scrub I felt clean enough to start on my hair, lathering it up with generous amounts of shampoo, finally emerging, skin steaming and hair creating a small waterfall. I rung it out before wrapping a towel around me and drying off, finding the emergency clothes. Aka, my comfiest favourites. ¾ leggings and figure hugging v-neck cashmere jumper. Soft and warm. I towel dried my hair a little and just let it hang. Finally, I grabbed my gear and the stakes and unlocked the door. Cam was flying the jet, Daniel sitting in the co-pilot seat but slumped to one side, fast asleep. Wes and Alberta were asleep too and I smiled slightly spotting their entwined hands. I had always guessed as much. Alex was reading Interveiw with the Vampire by Anne Rice _again._ I shook my head and looked for Christine, finding her curled up on Eddie's chest, his arms loosly holding her in place as he snored quietly. Some babysitter. Finally, my eyes landed on Dimitri.

I couldn't help but giggle internally. Rose Hathaway does not giggle out loud. Dimitri was sprawled over four seats, the arms rests raised. He had removed his vest and duster, leaving him in a black wifebeater and jeans, his boots neatly placed under his seat, socks inside them. His hair was falling over his face and he slept soundly, despite his arm hanging off the seat and his head at an odd angle. I grabbed one of the blankets and a pillow, kneeling next to him and rasing his head carefully to place the pillow under it at a healthier angle. Then, raising his arm gently and placing it on his stomach with the other one, I threw the blanket on him before grabbing another for me and collapsing on my own seats, curling up and shutting my eyes, pulling my hair over the armrest so it hung down to dry rather than sticking to my back. I wouldn't go to sleep. I was just going to rest my eyes for a while, we were landing in an hour or so anyway. That was my last thoughts as I drifted off to sleep.

"_Poor Rose and her poisonous love, killing off all she cares about. I wonder who's next..." A cold silky voice sang out from the darkness, a tone I wasn't used to hearing from Mason. He strode out towards me, circling me, glaring at me. I shrunk back against a brick wall and stared at him in horror. He laughed and I saw another figure approaching and I recognized the easy gait as Lucians. He sneered at me and stood with Mason._

"_Love? She didn't love me. Did you Rose? I was your distraction, your replacement for your Russian God. You always loved him, even when you were with me." I shook my head frantically, trying to get them to understand, I loved them all. Tears welled up in my eyes and felt one escape. Damn it. Then Tasha approached. Her eyes glinted dangerously and I began to shake. Then the dream faded slowly..._

I opened my eyes to an anxious Daniel. Ha! And you thought it was going to be Dimitri. His worried eyes made me aware of the wetness on my cheeks and the tears that should never had fallen. I sat up and peered out the window, watching the cluster of buildings that made up the court come into veiw.

"Are you alright Rose?" Daniels voice was gentle and quiet and I was grateful for his discretion. I nodded numbly and straightened up, glancing around. It was the same as before except now Daniel was awake. I yawned and stood up, the blanket falling from my shoulders. My hair was dry now and I brushed it quickly and put half of it up before goin g around to rouse everyone. I went to Wes and Alberta first, putting my head inbetween theirs.

"Wake up lovebirds..." I cooed softly, having the satisfaction of seeing them leap apart and look around in horror. I moved on to Eddie and Christine, tickling her so she wiggled waking them both up, she giggled and he just sleepily grumbled about five more minutes until my fingers danced under his chin, sending them both tumbling to the floor. I smiled happily, pushing the dream out of my mind and went to Dimitri who lay just as I had left him. I backed up and let out a wild war cry before launching myself forwards, running and jumping to land on his stomach, shocking him and knocking the wind out of him. He growled and pulled me down on his chest, his heart pounding from undeniable shock. I laughed and tried to stand but he held me down, hugging me tightly.

"I... I felt.. your dream, I heard it in my head. Your love isnt poisonous Roza.." I wrenched my self out of his grasp and stalked to the front of the jet as it touched down. Let the stress begin. Dimitri came up behind me and rested his forehead against my shoulder, breathing hard. I shut my eyes knowing what was coming. He was going to push me away again, say we couldn't be together.

"Roza, you want me to be with you, I want me to be with you. It's not fair that I can't be there for you too." I turned around to face him, absolutely livid. If it were possible, steam would be coming out of my ears like in the cartoons. He backed away a bit from my murderous expression while Alex looked up at the exact wrong moment, seeing something was up. I took a step towards Dimitri so I had him backed up against a wall and poked his chest with my finger.

"Welcome to the fricking club! Open your eyes Dimitri, listen to yourself. God damn it Dimitri! You are such a filthy hypocrite! You think that this sucks? You try being me and having to put up with your self-righteous, hot-one-minute-cold-the-next, completely hurtful behaviour and then when I finally thought I had you, you leave. For 6 years. When that is even remotely fair, give me a call and I will consider speaking to you again. Face it Dimitri, I have. Life. Isnt. Fair." he looked like had slapped him and I wrenched the door open, breathing hard and thankful that we had landed. I looked back once to see him staring blankly at the floor while Alex was standing in front of him, fists clenched. I kept on walking, heading to where ever I hit first. I didn't care. They could take Christine up themselves. I ended up in the small grove and wild rose garden, ironic or not, I collapsed to my knees and screamed in frustration, slamming my fist into the ground repeatedly. I looked at the bruised and split knuckles, dirt and blood running down my wrist. I smiled in spite of myself. Pain. I lay back in the grass and just stared at the night sky, looking at the constellations I had begun to miss. I sighed sadly, my life sucks.


	9. Lust

Rose POV

After staying in the wild garden for a while, I realised that the cold wasn't just me anymore, the temperature had dropped considerably and mist shrouded the groud like a soft blanket, obscuring my knees. I stood, feeling the stiffness and pain come shooting back before I shook it off and tried to remember the way back. The mist meant I couldn't see my footprints from earlier and the darkness pressed in on my on all sides, there trees bowed like they were praying for me. I felt sick, not strigoi nausea but physically sick, I knew it was Lissa, not me. I allowed myself to slip into her head and found myself staring at worried brown ones. Dimitri was with Lissa, they were apparently discussing me. Worry coursed through Lissa's head and she mentally made a list of all the places that I would go, places that had already been checked.

"Your Highness... is there anywhere in the grove or near there? She ran in that general direction..." Alex spoke that time, clearly agitated. Lissa studied his aura and I felt the same shock she did. Apart from the worry caused by my prolonged absence and the anger I knew was directed at Dimitri, I saw the love and devotion that he held for me. I was a regular man-magnet these days... Lissa thought about the grove, remembering the places she had seen. She knew there was a wild rose garden but it was just outside the wards. Shit! I was outside the wards during dark time. She realised that I didn't know that they had removed it from the court grounds, I had been away when the change had been carried out. I cursed to myself and pulled out of her head, surveying my surroundings. Trees, rose bushes and the misty shadows. I was thankful for my strigoi sensing abilities but I couldnt always rely on it. I saw the giant angel statue at the far end, the knee would be the same height as my head. It was enormous, towering above the surrounding trees. I was Rose Hathaway after all.

I jogged over to the marble feet and inspected the whole base, walking around it until I found what I was looking for. The dress had rough folds at the back, ones I could use to climb up with. I only needed to be a couple of meters up until I could use the wings and arms to hoist my self fully up. I felt the satisfaction of knowing my window escape routes added to my awesome ninja skills and would help me get back to the wards. I started up the angels dress and dodged the dangerous looking patches of moss until my head cracked agianst the underside of the wing. I hissed and a stream of profanities that would probably get me in trouble with Liss. Between taking the lords name in vain, muttering about the ugliness of the strigoi and the promiscuity of their mothers, I managed to swing my legs gracefully over her praying arms. I sat there for a moment, watching the mist curling over the stone benches, almost tentatively covering in with insubstantial tendrils of white. I sighed and clambered atop her head, feet on her shoulders. The grove spread out around me but I saw in the distance to my right they sloping green lawn and guardian buildings of the court, tiny pinpricks of light. Looking around, the road was far to close for comfort and I started to lower myself back down until I felt the hair on the back of my neck rise. I managed to dart behind the angels head again, pressed against the wings as I peered around.

I was sure I was fairly hidden and I tensed as I saw a hulking shadow leave the embrace of the weeping willows at my left, barely breathing lest it heard me. A long tail flicked behind it and I instantly knew what I was seeing. Oh boy was it my favourite. A mountain lion prowled across the clearing, pausing before the wards before turning around and heading the other. The wards stopped them entering, but now I knew where they started again. My only problem, the mountian loin now sniffing the statue, unable to see me but still tracing my scent. Well.. damn. I lay back agaisnt the wings and stared up at the stars again, sighing in relief when the lion eventually slipped out of sight. I watched from the top, seeing it dart back across the road before starting my descent again. When my feet finally touched the ground, my knees buckled, sending me face first into the feet of the angel.

"mrumfpg" Was what my next string of curses came out as but I stood up again and headed back towards the wards, jogging over the uneven ground. I felt myself relax when I new I had re-entered the relative safety of the wards. I felt no need to go back and face them, instead going back into my house, close to the grove. I slipped the key into the lock, the door swinging noiselessly inwards, the familiar smell of home making me smile. Shutting the door, I continued to the bathroom, flipping the music on and up before stripping off and climbing in the shower, letting the hot water relax me. I felt all my muscles un-bunch and loosen, the relief flowing with the hot water cascading down over my shoulders. I always felt so much more at peace in the shower, my temper always mellowing, allowing me to regain control. The steam was like heaven.

I tensed up when the door opened but it was not a stranger who poked their head around the door, it was Dimitri. He opened the door fully and stepped in, wearing nothing but his shorts. I dragged my eyes up his body, the tanned, toned legs, the perfectly chiseled abs and then his chest. My god... his chest. Every muscle, every single line of definition, gleaming in the light, mermerising me. His long, strong arms that I longed to be encircled in, his collar bones that curled delicately away from eachother, strong and perfect. The smooth jawline that dissapeared in his long, thick mane of chocolate brown hair. His full lips quirked up into a slight smile, probably at my bemused expression, prefectly sculpted and inviting. Saving his eyes for last took my breath away, there were liquid pools of melted chocolate, shining dark with lust. I'm sure mine were exactly the same.

He held my gaze as he pulled his shorts off and stepped under the stream of hot water, eyes blazing as he traced my mouth with his thumb, staring at them as if they held the answers to life itself. His warm hands cupped my face and tilted my head up as he towered over me, lips meeting mine as firerworks exploded around us. Pressing me againsgt the wall, still locked together with desperate kisses. I gave up trying to remember being mad at him and melted in his arms, kissing him back with passion that made him smile against me. My hands explored his chest and back as his roamed my body as well, rememorising eachother. His lips found my neck, teeth lightly grazing the arch before he continued kissing down my shoulder. His hands pulled me closer, soft on my lower back. I nipped my ear gently, making me look at him instead if the contours of his chest.

"I'm sorry Roza... I love you and I can't even begin to say how sorry I am about everything..." his voice was filled with emotion and I knew he was going to keep apologising. I placed my finger on his lips, marveling at the silky texture and standing on my tiptoes, kissing his chest, the only thing I could reach. He bowed his head, the water darkening his hair and trickling over his face. He held me close and sighed into my neck, my mind was buzzing with ectasy, the feeling of his skin against mine making me shiver. His finger tips ran up my spine and I arched my back, the miniscule space between us disappearing, his hand slipping down to my hip and tracing small circles.

I tangled my fingers in his hair and brought his lips to mine, gently biting his bottom lip. He moaned quietly and kissed me again, pushing us back under the water. I remembered the shampoo that hadn't rinsed itself out yet and sighed in frustration before trying to work the shampoo out. I raised my hands up and started on the tangled mess that Dimitri loved so much. He continued kissing my neck and running his hands down my arms to my waist and up again. He kissed each collar bon and then the hollow between them before going in a straight line over my chin and to my lips. I opened my eyes lazily and smirked at him, running my hand down his chest, to his navel and back up, allowing my nails to drag a little on the way up. He shuddered at my touch, eyes fluttering shut. He opened them, pupils fully dilated, a rim of brown surrounding black, boy did he want me.

Dimitri reached for the body wash and started lathering up my back and shoulders, traveling down my arms, kissing each finger tip before soaping them up too. Then he kneeled, lefting one foot onto his knee and starting at my ankles, continuing up my leg until he reached the top of my thigh, laughing at my wild expression. Gently placing my foot back down and picking the other up to repeat my process, his eyes never left mine. Then his eyes turned to my chest, his hands creeping up to my belly button and drawing bubbly circles. They kept creeping up and my eyes rolled back in my head as I swayed towards him. We stood in eachothers arms as the bubbles swirled around our feet and disappeared before he turned the water off and stepped out, holding my robe. I slipped it on and admired his deeply muscled stomach. I smiled happily. He was mine again, he still loved me. But... I still needed him. I glanced back up at his eyes and saw the same burning desire, unsatiable need for me. I stepped towards him as he reached for me, sweeping me up bridel style and strolling amiably towards the bedroom. He lay me on the bed and sat next to me, opening my robe tauntingly slow.

I pouted at him and he laughed, truly laughed, slipping one hand under my back and rolling so he half hovered above me. This kiss was different, slow, intense, building up to something so much more. We were gaurdians, we were half vampire, we were part animal, predator. The primal instincts of fight went hand in hand with lust and the primal urges reared up with in me. I growled softly and the kiss deepened, getting more urgent. The pace picked up and his hand tightened in my hairm the other pulling me closer. I shrugged out of the robe and wrapped my arms around him. He growled as my nails dug into his back a little pressed himself closer, I could feel him on every line of my body now but we still weren't close enough. I needed him.

"Dimitri..!: I managed to gasp out before the kisses took over, but he understood, or maybe he felt the same. An electric current erupted between us as we fully connected. His hips grinded against mine and I held him closer. He said my name fervently, like a prayer, our skin hot, breathing heavy. There was no defintion of me and him, we were perfect, one person. It felt amazing. The pace quickened and I felt the euphoria creeping up on us both, the tightening of my stomach muscles, the feel of his calloused hands on my hips. So close... it became deeper, harder, needier, his breath warm on my face. I gasped, wrapping my legs around him and moving my hips with his, rewarded with a moan from him. It was one of the most wonderful sounds I had ever heard... we both let go at the same time and I rolled us over, laying on his chest, slightly damp with sweat.

"I love you Roza... so, so much." he voice was like velvet in the night and I wiggled myself up further so my head was under his chin, closing my eyes blissfully. Sleep came quickly, but all I could dream about was the perfect man that I lay in the arms of, the man that I loved with all my heart. My dreams turned then and I saw Dimitri, running slowly, a grin plastered to his face. A little girl ran after him, brown ringlets streaming behind her, brown eyes sparkling mischievously. I saw me in her and I saw Dimitri, but most of all, I saw me, walking towards them, the little girl now having "tackled" Dimitri to the ground. I was older, my stomach huge and round, one hand protectively placed under it. The little girl looked at the dream me and then the real me, brown eyes strangely knowing. Then she smiled and waved before launching herself off him and running towards dream-me. I realised then and there what that might mean. I could have children with dhampirs. Me and Dimitri had just made love and I had fully needed him, just like I had to in order for it to work. My god. I woke with a start and stared suspiciosuly down at my stomach, one side of my mouth quirking up in a half frown, speculation clear on my face. I stared at Dimitri, his face was soft and relaxed. What if he didn't want us?


	10. 10 Wait What!

Rose POV:

I woke up strangely happy, I couldn't remember why. I was Rose, I was supposed to be angry at someone… but who? Then it all came flooding back. The wild rose garden, finding my way back, Dimitri… Dimitri! My eyes flew open and I found myself looking at his chin. So it had actually happened…? I was lying on his bare chest, the early morning sunshine streaming through the window. We had slept through the whole day? I slipped into Lissa's head, hoping she wouldn't be mad at me for not turning up. She was asleep so I just continued staring at Dimitri, my Russian god. I smiled and traced the flat planes of his sculpted chest, marvelling at the smooth texture. He had a long white scar on his right bicep and looked at it in confusion; he didn't have that when he taught me at the academy.

I looked down at my stomach suspiciously again. I had spent the better part of a couple of hours trying to figure out the possibilities of being pregnant and how Dimitri would act. I knew he had always wanted kids, but that was before… he might have changed his mind. He might have accepted the fact that children were the one thing I couldn't give him. Would the shock prove too much? Well, I didn't know if I was yet so I wouldn't worry about it yet. That was one thing I could tackle when the time arose. I lay my head back down and felt Dimitri move slightly underneath me . I wiggled up so my head was above his and placed a soft kiss on his lips, watching his eyes flutter open. A warm smile replaced the shock and he hugged me tightly, kissing my cheek.

"Good morning my love, or should I say, good evening." His voice was thick with sleep but the Russian accent came through stronger than usual, making me grin. His fingers danced up my spine, making me collapse forwards onto him. He laughed, truly laughed and I joined in, stopping when he rolled me onto my back, hovering above me and staring into my eyes with intensity that took my breath away. I wrapped my arms around his neck, feeling the molijna marks under my fingers. My warrior. I smiled and he stared in bemusement at me. I guess I was funny too.

"What's up Comrade? You see something you like?" We smiled at the rememberence of the first time I said that and I noticed the slightly sombre look in his eyes. Would he want us? Was there an us? I bit my lip anxiously and his eyes flashed down quickly before he rolled us over so we were on our sides. His thumb traced my lips and he watched them as they quivered.

"What's wrong Roza? What is worrying you?" His eyes burned into mine. I had to lie yet I knew he could easily tell. He could see into mu very soul and see when I was decieving him, now, with it only us and the silence pressing in, he would tell in a heartbeat. Oh no... I decided to go with the half truths, I wasn't technically lying.

"Nothing Dimitri. Nothing is wrong, just need to check something" Nothing is wrong yet... I added in my head, knowing that even Lissa would know. He watched me carefully before deciding not to pursue it, yet I saw the "_not yet_ " in his eyes too. We would both wait. I rolled us over and stradled him, inching my way down while kissing him before leaping off and grabbing my clothes. He pouted playfully and I laughed at him, honestly, Dimitri? Pouting? I shook mey head before slipping on clean clothes and tying my hair up in a ponyail. I once again needed to see Adrian. Once I was decent I turned and saw Dimitri watching me closely.

"I'm going to see Adrian and Lissa but I will be back soon. Have you got anything planned for the rest of the night?" He sat up and stretched, the muscles on his chest and stomach flexing. This god was all mine...` I leant over, hugging him tightly. His long toned arms wrapped around my waist and I grinned, pulling away slowly.

"Well, while you're gone I might get my stuff from the guardian lodgings and bring it all here?" He asked it as a question, seeing if I was fine with the whole moving in together thing. I nodded my head and pecked him once on the lips before making my way out of the house and towards Adrians rooms. He opened the door in boxers, his hair in a mess on the top of his head and bags under his eyes. He smiled when he saw me and stood back, allowing me to enter while he pulled on a pair of jeans. Vodka bottles clinked together as the door released them from its trap and rolled across the floor. I remembered Adrians philosophy, to prevent a hangover, never stop drinking. I shook my head and watched him as he scrubbed his face with cold water. He looked sober...

"And to what do I owe this pleasure, Little Dhampir?" He stared up at me innocently, his eyes twinkling mischievously. I was really glad that he still wanted to be my friend, even after I told him we couldn't be together. I smiled back sadly and sat down infront of him, hoping he wouldn't explode at me.

"Um, I need you to answer a question for me but it involves looking at my aura... if you can." I didn't meet his eyes, knowing how they wpuld judge me, he would be able to tell via aura anyway. I could basically feel his curious stare burning a hole in the top of my head. I guilitly met his gaze and he laughed, seeing my sheepish expression.

"Let me guess, you just found out about the little aura that I can see between your hips and want to know if you really are pregnant?" My mouth literally fell open and I stared at him shock. It was like the words jumbled up and refused to make sense in my brain, they didn't work in that order. Just... just... wait... what? I closed my mouth before I started catching flies, content with staring in shock. Alert the media, Rose Hathaway is rendered speechless. I sat back quickly and just closed my eyes, refusing to meet his eyes.

"Rose? Little Dhampir? Can dhampirs go into shock... damn it..." a shaky chuckle escaped me and he sighed in relief, pulling me up and towards the door. I knew exactly what he meant when he motioned towards the house. He wanted me to tell Dimitri. The main buildings caught my eye and I gave him a quick hug and made my way over to them, needing to tell Lissa. Even if she didn't really get too involved with me anymore, she would know what to do seeing as she had to tell Christian he was going to be a dad both times. The sunlight warmed my skin, sunlight that I always missed with the nocturnal schedule of the moroi. I glanced around, making sure I was completely alone before humming softly. I was happy. No, that was an understatement, I was estatic. I was having Dimitri's baby. I was giving him all he ever wanted and I never really realised how much I wanted this kid, to prove that I could be a better mum than Janine.

Knocking on Lissa's door was like walking down death row. Lissa's reaction would be explosive, even if it was happy. The door swung open and she smiled sweetly at me, true happiness leaking through the bond. Christian was asleep so she lead me out into the the lounge where the sun was blocked by thick curtains. I sat down next to her and she waited patiently, knowing what I wanted tyo tell her was important. Lissa had what I didn't: patience.

"LissaI'!" It came out in a rush and she looked at me in utter confusion. I took a deep breath and started again slowly. "Lissa, I am pregnant. And I need to tell Dimitri.." she looked at me in shock before she grinned, hugging me tightly while squealing happily in my ear. I winced and smiled back, not even listening to her endless gushing about how cute the baby would be and what ever else I missed. I pulled back, seeing the time and apologising. It was time to train with Dimitri. She bounced back into her room, Christian sleepily rocking Adrienne. He nodded at me before turning to Lissa questioningly. She shook her head and I stepped away so I didn't have to watch them kiss first hand. Call me childish, but I had seen more of Christian than was morally right for his girlfriends best friend.

The gym door was open when I got there and I instantly recognized Dimitri's tall, muscled frame. I smiled and stealthily snuck into the gym, sneaking up behind him silently. He continued to stand, staring out the window at the sunset. I wrapped my arms around his waist, the smooth warm skin making me melt. He chuckled and turned, hugging me back an running his hands through my hair gently, staring down at my face. He frowned, the question clear in his eyes.

"Dimitri... I need to tell you something. Something important..."


	11. Family, Kiz

Dimitri:

I watched the emotions flicker through my beautiful Roza's face. Then the look she got when avoiding a question settled. I felt like doing the typical Rose and rolling my eyes at her feeble attempts at keeping something from me.

"Okay, Hypothetically, what would you say if I wanted a baby?" My heart sank. It had finally happened, she wanted the one thing I couldn't really give her. I had asked Lissa, she said in was hard for even shadow-kissed women to have children with dhampirs because of an intense mental need both partners needed to have for it to work. I wanted a child so badly, now she did. I didn't want to adopt, I want the whole experience, laying together and feeling the baby kick, even holding her hand when it arrived, knowing Rose, I would end up with a few broken fingers and a guarenteed swearing explosion. But, I wanted it to be my baby, not someone elses. I was selfish but I wanted it to be the child of Rose Hathaway and Dimitri Belikov, not Rose Hathaway and unknown sperm doner. It wasn't the same.

"Rose, I want a baby too, but I want it to be our baby. We can't adopt and I doubt you'll be happy with another man's child growing inside of you." I frowned at her peculiar expression and watched the excitement flare in her gorgeous brown eyes. What was she up too... something clicked in the back of my mind... maybe she had found a way for us... hope surged up, stronger than ever before. Could we have the perfect child I envisioned?

"What if was our baby... what if... what if it was growing in me right _now." _I stared at her, not comprehending what she was saying at all. Did that mean she was... I couldn't even think the P word. Or was she being completely hypothetical? A huge grin made her glow as she gently took my hand and placed it on her stomach, between her hips. It was perfectly flat but I knew we had only just.. been with eachother last night. How would she kniow so quickly? Or was it a shadow-kissed thing.

"Dimitri... breathe... I am pregnant. With our baby... our child. If you don't start responding I'll be forced to perform mouth to mouth" she winked muschievously and I knew she wasn't kidding. We were having a baby! I felt my lips twitch of their own accord, a small upturn. A full out grin stretched across my face and I picked her up in ecstasy, swinging her around. Someone walked in and whistled to gain our attention. She laughed and I out her down gently, beaming at Eddie.

"Eddie! We're having a baby! A _**baby!"**_ I tried reigning in some degree of control, trying to make myself seem more like how I usually am but I failed miserably. Laughing with my beautiful Roza, the mother of _my child."_

Rose POV:

I couldn't believe how happy Dimitri sounded, how happy he looked. He glowed, seeming more like a god than ever, Eddie congratulated us, kinda weirded out by a happy Beliokov when he was usually Mr. - stone-mask-sulky-badass. Next thing, Dimitri had a cell phone whipped out and was rapidly speaking in russian. I shook my head, hearing Roza and sat down with a huff. I really needed to learn more russian...

"I'll put you on speaker. Mama, Roza and I have something to tell you. Roza is pregnant and I am the father. Shadowkissed dhampir woman can have children with other dhampirs." Squealing and happy gushes erupted from the other side or the line and I heard Oleona demanding that we go to Russia before the baby was due so it could be born there. I just nodded in a daze. I was pregnant...

I knew how Adrian could tell so early on that I was pregnant. His aura power was advanced but that wouldn't make a difference on normal people. The baby has an aura the minute it embeds in the ehem.. uterus. Uck . I hate even thinking the word, juvenile, I know. With everyone else, the aura of the baby is so similar to the parent that it blends with theirs but, because mine is a shadowkissed aura, the babies is a bright golden yellow amidst a lot of grey and black. Joy for baby. I smiled happily, watching Dimitri,

"Wow Dimitri, your happy glow, it's blinding!" he grinned goofily at me and picked me up carefully bridal style, carrying me to our little house. Our phone was presented to me and a paper with Janine and Abe scrawled in his beautiful handwriting shoved infront of my nose. Dimitri's serious mentor face fixed in place, I knew I couldn't win. I sighed a little and decided Abe was the lesser of two very scary evils, he actually valued family... If Janine took it the wrong way I would be hiding in a dark cave, living on pepperoni sticks and cans of condensed milk for the rest of my life. Not a pleasant future... the ringing phone cut me out of my nightmarish thoughts and I frowned at Dimitri, knowing he dialed for me.

"Mazur, how can I help you Gaurdian Belikov?" His thickly accented voice smoothly sounded, power oozing off him. I sighed and leant against Dimitri's rock hard body for comfort.

"Abe, it's Rose. I have to tell you something important..." His intake of breath showed his contained suprise and he changed his voice to a warmer tone I knew he used when he tried to butter me up or, as he did last time, get me out of the country. Some dad he is...

"Well Kiz, what would that be?" He was like me, straight to busines.. well at least I knew where it came from. I rolled my eyes, I knew that my bad-ass ness was too good to be all me.

"Well, Dimitri and I wanted to let you know that I am pregnant. With Dimitri's baby. So, um, yeah. You're going to be a granddad, old man." My declaration was met with absolute silence. Even the crickets were completely astounded. I chuckled lightly and started winding my fingers in Dimitri's ponytail, listening to the harsh breathing that started on the other end of the phone.

"Pass me to Dimitri please, Rose." I sighed and handed the phone to the god in question and grumbled. Just because I was the kid doesn't mean I couldn't hear what the "big men" had to say. I huffed and slammed my hands down on his thigh, catching his attention. He was listening, intently. I started imagining the coversation, the long and explicit ways my 'father' planned on disemboweling us with a rusty spoon and ripping out Dimitri's spine to beat him with it. Obviously my imagination was a little too active for my own good but it was entertaining.

"Trust me sir, that is a very important thing to me, one I plan on remedying as soon as she'll let me. No, of course." He held out the phone to me and I slowly put it to my ear.

"How much of that were you listening to Rose?" He sounded tired, like this whole thing had worn him out. My old man... I snorted quietly and cocked my head to the side, thinking the best way to answer while unfuriating him. I was in a Rose mood.

"Depends, did you plan on beating him senseless with his own spine?" once again, silence, except it was Dimitri that stopped breathing. Abe just laughed and said no, humour rumbling through his already deep voice.

"Well, my son, your half brother is coming over to protect you while you are pregnant. With your charges, Dimitri can't always protect you and I will not have my daughter in danger. Kai will be there in two days time. Goodbye Kiz, tell your mother" I had a brother? What? I just stared at the keypad, blank filling my mind. Just pause for a moment, rewind and repeat, I have a brother...? Kai...


End file.
